


The Shadow of Your Wings

by FicticiousDelicious



Category: Bleach
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Blood, Cheating, Complete, Corruption, DO NOT REPOST MY FANWORKS, Dark fic, Demonic Possession, Demons, Depression, Drama, Dubious Consent, Emotional Hurt, Homosexuality, Human, Hurt/Comfort, Insanity, Killing, M/M, Masturbation, Murder, Pain, Physical Harm, Sex, Suicide Themes, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-08
Updated: 2019-08-21
Packaged: 2020-08-11 20:56:44
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 10
Words: 23,767
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20159980
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/FicticiousDelicious/pseuds/FicticiousDelicious
Summary: For a good reason it’s sometimes said to those who’ve recently sinned without repenting, ‘don’t leave your window open at night for demons will surely find their way to you’...as a vulnerable Ichigo and Renji will discover when their life and relationship turmoil invites in something that they cannot handle. A demon this powerful didn't get that way picking daisies..THIS IS A DARK FANFIC. All characters are adults.This story is COMPLETE.This is an Ao3 exclusive story! You'll only find it here.!!Disclaimer!! I do not own the characters mentioned in The Shadow of Your Wings nor do I make any profit of any kind from their mention. Ownership of these Bleach characters and goes to Tite Kubo. All Characters © Tite KuboDeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com





	1. Depression

**Author's Note:**

> This whole fanfiction is built mostly on the blocks of 'what goes around comes around'.  
It is NOT a sunshine and daisies fanfic, you've been warned.  
I've been looking forward to writing a very dark fanfic (purely dark) for a while because I love dark themes so goddamn much.  
Please enjoy the toxicity, corruption and savagery.
> 
> (Also, yes, this is the fic which this drawing was made for a while ago.  
This is the uncensored version at the top and the censored version is below or on my Tumblr and DA.)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: toxic relationship~

For a good reason it’s sometimes said to those who’ve recently sinned without repenting, ‘don’t leave your window open at night for demons will surely find their way to you’. I am one…who did not listen, my reasons cannot change the facts.

_[10:30 pm - Top floor of a dense city apartment…]_

A man with brightly red hair dumped his keys into a basket by the entrance to his shared abode and let his apartment door close behind him with a slam. He sighed, he was stressed out and tired. Wandering further into the carpeted apartment after kicking off his shoes the man came around a corner of the entrance’s hallway to find his partner laying belly-down in sleepwear and watching television half-heartedly from their neatly-made twin-sized double bed. This apartment was so small that the bedroom shared space in a single room with the living room. Their kitchen was small too but an open one and the bathroom was just barely big enough with a shower, toilet and sink to fit just one of them at a time. They didn’t have enough money for anything else with average city rent bleeding them dry. Just two rooms and a closet in the entrance hallway. Barely enough space to breathe. “Hey…”

A ginger man, with short fluffy tangerine hair, on the bed lifted his head immediately when he snapped from a trance-like state as he was watching television but he didn’t smile as he saw a familiar face. “Hey.” It was pretty dim in the apartment; their windows were shut but the curtains were back and the dull light of the city lights’ glow plus the flat-screen television was the only thing illuminating the room.

The man just having come into the small apartment was taking off his windbreaker jacket now, standing by the kitchen and laying it down on the edge of the island counter nearest. “Have you been watching TV all day?”

“Renji, please don’t do that…” The man on the bed stretched out his limbs and tucked his face partly behind his arms.

“Don’t do what?”

“Ask me that.”

Renji, the vividly crimson-haired redhead who’d just arrived home, frowned as he stayed by the counter. “It was just a question, Ichigo.” It was a little annoying to be talking over the moderate volume of the television program but the way that Ichigo had responded gave him the answer he’d sought.

A judging question by Ichigo’s perspective. His hazel eyes found the television again.

“Can you turn that off?” Renji prodded.

Ichigo just shook his head and remained as he had been this whole time – seeming very lazy.

“Why not?” Renji sounded mildly like he was complaining as he stood still by the counter where he’d set his thin windbreaker with a hand upon it. It was hard to see what else this man was wearing from work in the dim lighting of the cold room. Their heat had been on the fritz since the first week of autumn; it was definitely not on today, which was a chilly day.

“When was the last time we had sex?” Ichigo condescended in response as he continued staring at the television half-heartedly with his chin supported on the backs of his hands.

Renji frowned harder and started to shake his head a few times. “Don’t do that… I work.” He was busy…and worn out…and really tired… …_all of the time_.

“So?” Ichigo sniped. He’d been rather unemployed for months now and pretty damn unhappy with everything for most of that while. “You don’t have time to get it up for ten minutes at least once a week?”

Angrily Renji went his separate way from his aggravating partner and started making himself something quick to eat. Macaroni and cheese with a side of thawed vegetables and milk. When Renji was done preparing his meal he looked at Ichigo again, who hadn’t moved at all, still laying uselessly upon the bed. Renji couldn’t give a shit what was on that TV; he stared square at Ichigo. “Do you want food?”

“I’m not hungry.” Unemployed and depressed. Ichigo had lost his appetite mostly around the same time as he’d ‘lost’ his job due to a moral conflict; he’d seen something where he’d last worked that made it impossible to stay focused on work. Shortly after he’d been unfairly reamed by his employer and quit a day later without notice. He couldn’t have stayed there. Ever since then he’d been eating less and thinned out quite a bit.

Renji shook his head. “You need a job.”

“Just stop it. I can’t handle it right now.”

Picking up his plate with utensils and cup Renji sorely wished that he had another room to escape to so that he didn’t have to look at this helpless misery. It wasn’t that he didn’t care but he couldn’t handle it either. “You need to grow up.” They had bills to pay and it felt like forever since Ichigo had claimed that his personal savings were empty and he couldn’t contribute to living expenses any more.

That particular statement, ‘grow up’, would tick just about anyone off, especially someone who was already miserable. “I’m not the one who, as a _grown-up_ in their right mind cheated by fucking the guy down the hall…”

Renji’s face twitched. “Hisagi doesn’t live there anymore, you can let that go. I already apologized.”

“To him…”

“To _you!_ You don’t remember do you?”

Ichigo covered his ears and put his face down on the bed. He didn’t care that Renji had apologized, it just bothered him that it had happened anyway, that was sometime last month – fresh wounds. For reasons only Ichigo would know this also bothered him because he knew that he’d cheated on Renji several times before and after Renji had done the same to him, but Ichigo had gotten away with it… They hadn’t been having sex, sexual urges neglected were too strong and Ichigo had just caved. It felt like ‘losing’ his job had caused all of this. He was so off keel that he couldn’t fix problems anymore.

Annoyed vastly by his partner’s behavior Renji gritted his teeth and took his food into the bathroom and using the sink as a table of sorts and toilet as a chair shut the door before he could say anything he regretted. It was a fucking small space but at least it was private.

Out in the main room Ichigo resumed half-heartedly watching TV once he noticed that Renji had gone off into the bathroom alone. For just a minute Ichigo stared at the closed bathroom door and furiously rubbed away a couple of heavy tears he wished weren’t silently streaking down his cheeks and felt absolutely useless as a man and the same annoyance toward his partner. This evening had been aimless and horrible.

In a twin double bed it was impossible to avoid bumping shoulders sometimes between two men even if they slept on their sides and they were both unfortunately annoyed by each other’s presence. They took turns being roused by the other shifting, Renji with his face toward the kitchen and Ichigo with himself turned to look at the curtains and a closed window. Eventually after enough hours and what should have been normal rest broken up into what felt like countless uncomfortable naps the sun was rising and Renji was getting up for work again.

Ichigo was awake but pretending not to be. He felt his partner move the covers and get off of the mattress. He heard more of the shift of covers and the clinks of Renji pulling on his pants and the belt that seldom left the loops except for when the pants went into the wash. He listened to the redhead grumble over a shirt and guessed Renji to be tucking it in when things got quieter.

Renji was ready a full ten minutes before he needed to be and switched off his alarm clock even though he actually knew that Ichigo was awake. Breathing patterns…his partner was bad at faking sleep. Kneeling slightly on the mattress after dressing himself and being careful not to wrinkle his nice clothing a kiss was bestowed on the exposed side of Ichigo’s cheek and shoulder. “Please try to do something today. Not TV, just do something else.”

Ichigo was annoyed that his fake sleep had been had. He stayed quiet, pretending like it was still working and thinking about how much he would enjoy a cigarette right now.

Renji backed off of the bed, leaving Ichigo to peace and pulling on his socks, gathering his wallet and windbreaker jacket from where he’d left them on the counter from yesterday, brushing his teeth and swiping deodorant on at the least then heading for the door where his shoes and jacket went on. The apartment door opened, giving brief sound of the noise in the hallway before shutting again. Even ten minutes early might not be enough to save him from the city traffic and Renji wished he’d gotten up even earlier to have a shower – deodorant would have to suffice. He locked the apartment door behind himself.

Squeezing his eyes shut as he heard the door close again Ichigo tried to actually go to sleep. This situation was hard…being in a depressed pit when the man he kind of loved was always gone as soon as it was dawn. When they’d first gotten together Renji hadn’t needed to work nearly as much because they both had jobs. Now… Now it was so different, and on some level Ichigo wanted the courage to fix himself but he couldn’t get an upper hand while there was nothing in sight to fuel hope. He kind of just wanted to die but at the same time that scared him; Renji didn’t know. For better or worse Ichigo fell to sleep – a real sleep this time, and this time he was unconscious for hours.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com

Censored Version:


	2. The Damage

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: violence against phones (if you are sensitive to this sort of thing this chapter is not for you)

Their home landline trilling broke Ichigo’s slumber and groggily the man lifted his pale body up in the bed, rubbing his face as it felt less than fresh to have been out for a long time. The phone stopped ringing as he missed the first call it but immediately started again as soon as possible. With groggy eyes Ichigo ignored the phone for a second and glanced at a window as he shrugged out of covers. It was nighttime again…what damn time even was it? Had he really been sleeping all day? He mindlessly shambled in the dark apartment for the landline phone in their kitchen wearing just his thin sleeping pants and picked up the aged tan receiver with a weak, “Hello?” sounding very obviously half-awake if that…

“Are you just getting up..?” It was Renji’s voice through the scratchy sound of the receiver.

“I’m going to hang up…” Ichigo warned, immediately annoyed.

“Don’t-! I called to tell you that I’m at a bar, I’ll be back later.”

Oh how nice of Renji…to imply that he was going to have fun without him and to warn him that he’d be alone for longer. “Make sure you wear a condom.”

“Ichigo stop it. I love you. I’m not going to fool around. I’m just having a drink.”

“A drink with who?” Ichigo was more awake now and rather salty.

“It’s- Not with anyone.” Renji was assertive about that and himself annoyed at this point.

“Drinking by yourself until really late? Of course it’s just you…and the guy across the bar…and maybe the guy next to you-”

“Ichigo you make me miserable sometimes, can you just fucking stop? I don’t know why you’re always on me for one mistake.”

Ichigo knew why…and he was afraid that Renji would do it again, just like he’d done it more than once. It was what he knew. Ichigo leaned on a wall by the fridge as the cord on the aged landline stretched across the small space of the kitchen. “The wound’s still fresh.” He picked at a magnet on the fridge until it fell off. Subconsciously this was also Ichigo’s way of having Renji’s company tonight for longer because he knew as soon as the phones were off he was going to be all alone again.

“That’s petty. Can’t you not? I only called to be polite.”

“Yeah well I’m sure you told me that before when you called to let me know that you’d broken the key in our lock and were going to call maintenance from Hisagi’s apartment.” Ichigo had no mercy and he was tired of being lonely and alone.

“Which wasn’t a lie.”

“You know, I don’t _hear_ bar sounds,” Ichigo cut in smartly. “Are you at someone’s apartment? Someone’s house? In their car?”

There was a very long pause as Renji left the line silent for at least a minute…and it went very quiet, no sounds of rowdy bar patrons or clinking of glasses nor ambient music. “No. I’m in a fucking phone booth. Ichigo please quit it… Why can’t you just say ‘ok thanks for letting me know’ like a normal person would?”

“Because I’m not normal,” Ichigo shot back with accuracy. He heard Renji sigh next.

“That’s for sure…” The tone of that wasn’t insulting as much as unsurprised. This was maybe the first thing they had agreed on in a few days. Unfortunately agreeing on one thing wasn’t going to fix the damage already done. Renji swallowed before speaking up again. “I’m really sorry but with hardly any space to myself I just need to get out sometimes. I really need that.”

Ichigo was wary of Renji doing things behind his back to the point of paranoia and jealousy and pretty upset that he felt like he was smothering his partner but he just couldn’t stop, grasping at Renji like he was drowning and needing to be pulled to the surface but thrashing too much to help either of them stay above water. Since he’d done much worse to Renji out of sexual desperation Ichigo was also rather consumed by the misery that came with the guilt of realizing that Renji still had no idea what he’d done…so unless he wanted to tell Renji that he’d fucked six other men he couldn’t explain why he was so worried over this. Casual sex was plain but his body would feel good for a few hours at least. He had some kind of a heart…but Ichigo still couldn’t stop himself. Hardly anything had a flavor anymore…the world was dull and sex seemed to change that slightly for just a short while.

Renji got words in again before Ichigo could say anything more, “Look…just _do something_ before the day ends. Please?”

“Do you even know what time it is?” It was too late in the evening to do _anything_, Ichigo figured without thought to actually trying.

How truly _lazy_. Renji could tell that Ichigo wasn’t going to put that effort in. “Go do something! Like the laundry or clean the apartment. I don’t care what.” What a mess. “And while you’re at it remember to _feed_ yourself today.”

The line coldly hung up as Renji dropped the call on purpose and Ichigo slowly took the receiver away from his head and stared at its shape in the relative dark. He was alone again. In a sudden moment of rage Ichigo slammed the receiver down several times until it clicked into the base of the phone then picked up the whole thing, ripping the cord free of the wall and hurled the phone against the floor. The sound of it breaking, plastic against tile, was loud and a dog in another apartment down the hall started barking. Ichigo calmed down in the second after, though he didn’t mourn in the dark for the dead phone, he just went to their bed and abruptly yanked open his bedside drawer and dug for his cigarettes. Renji wasn’t going to be home so he’d smoke in the apartment by the window - fuck it. With cigarettes and a lighter Ichigo stationed himself by the largest window in the living room space next to the television and tapped the pack before pulling one of the cancerous sticks out. He was able to see by the city lights through the glass. The large window opened with a click and a woodgrain sliding sound then the ginger lit up and after starting the cigarette he had a drag and exhaled a long cloud of smoke out the window’s opening. All over this city art and media had the artistic glamorization of smoking; the element of smoke’s elegance rolling out over the lips and having a lean little stick burning between two fingers being so interesting to many foolish people. Smoke was elegant unto itself but Ichigo only smoked for the tobacco, it wasn’t elegant…it was just a deadly fix. People were so foolish. He crossed his arms and leaned on the wall by the window, staring out at the rather busy city in the shade of evening with all of its lights glimmering like jewels, the sounds of cars, the fire escape below the window and thought about nothing. He let all of the weight of his situation go for a half an hour and chain-smoked half of his pack. People were so foolish.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com


	3. Anesthetic

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: raw sex

It was at least four in the morning before Renji was home, he stepped into the apartment with a tipsy shuffle and closed the door and locked it with the deadbolt and chain. He tossed his keys into the usual basket by the door. It was unsurprisingly dark in here. He felt a draft as he removed his windbreaker and leaned on the wall of the short entranceway as he folded the jacket over several times and was also shaking the shoes off of his feet. God he was tipsy and tired…and in a few hours he’d just have to get up and go to work again. Fucking ridiculous. Renji moved away from the front door, unbuckling and unzipping his pants on his way and glanced over at their double bed and saw the shady shape of his partner’s form. “Are you awake?”

No response followed.

Whether Ichigo was pretending or not didn’t matter he supposed. Renji sighed and continued to remove clothing in the dark, being careful not to stumble on anything and taking all the rest of his belongings out of his pockets and leaving them on the corner of the kitchen’s island counter like he normally did, jacket too. Pants and shirt came off and he tossed them into an empty laundry basket. That was their only basket for laundry now, one of them had tried sitting on the other that had come as a set and it had folded under their heavy ass and broken, but since the remaining one was empty it must have meant that Ichigo had actually done some laundry. A little more pleased by this Renji walked in his red briefs and black socks, the dull light of the city and moon coming through the open curtains casting beams of light across the tribal design of black tribal tattoos on his arms and legs, and he went around objects in the relative dark to the bathroom of their apartment. He took out the tie that held his mid-waist length crimson hair in a tail on his way and shook his head. One thing that had attracted Ichigo to him was his mane of hair, and it was nothing short of a thick crimson mane. Renji ignored the draft from the opened window in the living room space and the slight scent of cigarettes for the sake of getting to the shower quicker; he had to get Hisagi’s scent off of his body before he went to bed – his goal had just been to find some relief, not to torment his fair-skinned partner.

Ichigo shifted slightly under a sheet on the bed as the creak of the bathroom door moving was a bit loud. He’d actually been asleep and sat up slowly with half-opened eyes without yet realizing that a noise in the apartment had roused him. He rubbed at his face and yawned, turning over on the comfortable and warm mattress, looking around the dark apartment and realizing that he could hear the hiss of the shower in the bathroom. So…Renji was home. Rubbing his stubbled face Ichigo’s mind shut down a bit and he slid his lean and hair-dusted legs over the edge of the bed, intending to get up, and tried not to think hard about anything.

The man’s bare feet touched down on the dense carpet and Ichigo found his way in the relative dark around their bed and into the kitchen. He hadn’t eaten anything all day and his stomach kind of hurt from the lack of food. Drinking straight out of the milk carton from the fridge by the appliance’s light he recapped the jug once he’d had his fill. There wasn’t much food left in their fridge. Ichigo took a prepackaged granola bar from a big box in one of the cupboards. There wasn’t much food in there either… He consumed the whole granola bar in a few bites and tossed the wrapper as he chewed it up and swallowed, avoiding the broken phone still on the tiled kitchen floor and finding his way back to their bed to lay down.

Before actually getting to lay down Ichigo’s hand lifted the edge of the bedsheet he’d been sleeping under but his body hesitated and the man glanced toward the bathroom where he still heard the shower hissing. The thought of where Renji had been plucked strings in Ichigo’s head…and instead of burrowing into the bed and its covers where all he could do was hope to fall asleep and forget, the ginger reached for his cigarettes again. He climbed out onto the fire escape and sat on their open window’s ledge and smoked one more in the chilly, dark morning. Was morning’s light close? It didn’t feel close…

The cool breeze broke against Ichigo’s bare chest and made all but his legs a little cold, pink nipples pricked and fair flesh rigid. Ichigo wasn’t scared of heights, not even a little bit. The dark shades of clouds passing overhead and unfortunate smog starting to form made everything he could see a little darker. They lived on the top floor of this tall complex so there was nothing he expected to see above himself…except the sky. Once Ichigo was done with his smoke, and it had cleared his thoughts, he flicked a very crushed cigarette butt over the edge of the metal platform and climbed back into the apartment from the fire escape. He whacked his head on the window pane’s border by accident and growled painfully while making his way back to bed and climbed under the sheets after stashing the remainder of his pack back into his bedside drawer, which they had a little unspoken rule about never opening each other’s drawer on each side of their bed. Well his head hurt a little still, but in a minute or two Ichigo started to doze and pain was forgotten. Anesthetic.

An uncertain amount of time after dozing had commenced, Ichigo was startled by a weight shifting on the double bed and coming over top of him. At first he was scared shitless, too surprised to even scream, and then he realized it was Renji. The other man’s long red hair cascaded down and met with Ichigo’s bare torso and gathered around Ichigo’s head as Renji moved down on him.

Renji kissed Ichigo’s cheek, his lips, his neck and, with the bedsheets and covers already flung aside, after pulling down the sleeping pants on the ginger Renji gripped either of Ichigo’s forearms and held them down above Ichigo’s head.

Surprised at his partner, a little excitement built up in Ichigo’s body as good sensations started to take over and he wanted this. “I…I haven’t showered or anything…” he started to explain at first. He’d probably be fine but still.

“It doesn’t matter.” Renji breathed with a deep voice and started sucking on Ichigo’s neck and his dominate hand let go of a forearm long enough to penetrate his partner with a rigid member – already aroused enough to do so apparently and wet with something.

Damn this…it was what he wanted. If Renji didn’t care they could worry about the clean up later, Ichigo felt he would be fine, especially if his body felt good and Renji wasn’t even bitching at him for smoking – he surely smelled of smoke. Their sex was raw since Renji didn’t seem to have used proper lubricant; Ichigo knew the difference as warm hips pulled up between his thighs and he felt a little pain from resistance when he was penetrated but that surprisingly melted away the more that they moved. He wanted it and his body was accepting of this so quickly because of that. Unable to grip the body above Ichigo stayed down against the bed’s mattress with huffs of effort between them as the furniture rocked slightly and the mattress cushioned everything but rocked with the bed too. Every draw back was a reason to want that cock to come quickly back in and usher a sweltering feeling of pleasure. The penetration was his favorite pleasure. Ichigo held his hair-dusted legs around Renji and enjoyed himself so much more once the friction of being fucked absolutely smoothed out as fluids spread between them and his body got accustomed. His cock was erect and flopping between them as his balls shifted against its base and his lower groin. Breathing with huffs and light moans Ichigo felt sweat and a heady pleasure making him care less about the unplanned timing and disregard the fact that there was some pain and Renji’s weight holding him down was heavy. Ichigo’s arms stayed pinned by his partner’s hard grip.

Renji swallowed once or twice as his hair’s crimson strands swayed and body reacted to exertions and pleasures by furthering them. The redhead fucked with a sensation of lust spurring him and enjoying the dim sight of the ginger’s features reacting and wanting of this, and that kind of lewd desire looked the best on a sweet face like Ichigo had. Ichigo didn’t have to verbally beg Renji for any manner of pleasure, every ounce that the ginger wanted to drink whatever was administered. Pain melted into heated pleasure and they both dripped sweat over their sex – this glorified substitute for anesthetic. Ichigo’s soft-skinned forearms under his coarse hands were divine. The smoky smell and masculine taste of the ginger’s flesh was arousing. Hazel eyes were half-lidded until the pumping cock found a pleasing angle and then came the gentle gape of soft lips…Renji couldn’t help kissing those.

What was it even like to have sex with Renji before this? Ichigo couldn’t remember but it must have been something like this. They didn’t talk. They kissed. They had good sex. What a shame they’d stopped. There was a deep relief in cumming as he rubbed his erection up against Renji’s fit stomach while the other man got closer to him and fucked him harder. The last thing the ginger really recalled tonight were tattooed arms around himself and the bounce of his body, and legs especially, with the wet sound of penetration pounding wet heat as Renji lasted minutes longer than he had.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com


	4. The Blow

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: CRINGE, no really

Ichigo was awake before Renji the next morning and he wore a smile, turning over to cuddle with his partner, enjoying the warmth and looking at his partner’s tattoos and blissfully unconscious face. Oh Renji was so handsome with his face cleanly shaven like it was now, otherwise his hairs grew in a dark black not matching the crimson locks on his head at all. It was almost like he’d never been upset… Light was streaming in through the open curtains beside windows and the relatively fresh scent of morning with a touch of city air was drifting through their apartment. They breathed relaxed and in unison…the same air. Ichigo’s body felt good, maybe not fresh but that was nothing a shower couldn’t fix, and he tried not to wonder why Renji had done what he had last night – jumping his bones, because the lasting feeling was too good to put to question.

Eventually roused by a body rubbing up against his own, Renji started to stir.

Ichigo nudged his own stubbly face up next to Renji’s smooth shaven one sweetly. “Good morning.” He was perfectly sweet because he was happy.

“Hnnn?” Renji’s sharp eyes blinked open. A second or two passed as he comfortably adjusted and then all at once when Renji realized that it was broad daylight he lurched upright, sending his partner off of him immediately but not really on purpose. “Oh shit…” His breathing quickened and Renji jerked his eyes toward his clock and made a distressed sound. He was more than an hour _late_ and well past his clock-in time for work. “Oh shit! Oh shit!”

Dislodged from his comfy place against Renji and hardly synchronized with him anymore, Ichigo looked unimpressed and not nearly as comfortable as he had been; he laid more on his side of the bed again. Why did Renji have to be like this..?

Not spending any time trying to console his partner for that abrupt transition, because there were legitimately more important things to do right now, Renji half-stumbled and half-stepped out of bed in the buff of his plentifully tattooed glory and ran for his fresh clothes in the entranceway closet. “Shit, shit, shit…” He didn’t feel all there moving this fast out of bed so swiftly and his movements to start were less than deft.

The ginger left behind on the bed wasn’t too salty and sat up rubbing his face with a sleepy yawn after watching Renji dash for the hallway closet. Mmm, the air coming in through their screenless windows was fresh but close to the bed the air still smelled of sex. The bedsheets were pooled around his lower torso and over his legs as Ichigo sat there still with the thoughts of taking a shower clinging. “You could just call in sick.” Ichigo was no dimwit, he knew why Renji was in a hurry. “Or you can say there was an emergency.”

“I can’t do that! I have perfect attendance,” Renji was barking from the entrance hallway where there were also clinks and lots of fabric shuffling as he dressed himself hurriedly. Thankfully he wasn’t getting dressed in the dark, daylight helped move this along.

“‘Had’,” Ichigo corrected as he slid out of their bed, dragging one of the bedsheets with him and wrapping it around his naked self like a monk. From the floor by the bedside he leaned to pick up his sleeping pants where they’d landed from last night. There was a dull soreness in his back in bending such a way and similar to such soreness in his bruised forearms too. Ichigo heard Renji make a very unhappy sound, about his corrective remark probably. The ginger quietly made his way to drop his dirty pants into their laundry basket; they landed on top of some of Renji’s clothes.

“What happened to the phone?!” Renji croaked as he’d seemingly noticed it smashed on the kitchen floor while daylight shone through the apartment; now even if he had thought about notifying work he couldn’t.

Oh yes…the landline he’d destroyed in a moment of rage. Nearby but not actually in sight, Ichigo sheepishly tried to reply. “Umm…”

Already knowing well enough who did it, Renji came grouchily back around into the living room-bedroom area tucking his shirt under the edge of his pants. “You broke our only phone, dude…and why didn’t you wake me up for work?! If I lose my job we’re both screwed.”

‘Screwed’ huh? Eager to divert from the phone issue Ichigo smirked a little and stood straight, watching his partner tuck his shirt in. “I was asleep too… We _did_ get screwed, I was tired after our romp.” …and it was so nice to have been able to wake up next to Renji following that.

“Romp? What the fuck are you talking about?” Renji stopped with his shirt and eyed the man in front of him up and down. He’d had a few drinks last night but surely not _that_ much.

Ichigo’s mouth gaped slightly, “You came home, had a shower and came to bed then surprised me with some fun last night.” He closed his mouth up and smirked a little again with a slight flush to his stubbled face. “We screwed for like the first time in _forever_.”

Renji looked concerned. “You dreamt it.”

After a moment gathering that Renji wasn’t kidding Ichigo felt shock. “I did not! I wouldn’t make that up,” the ginger complained taking a single step forward and shaking his head defensively. “Don’t you remember you-” he started to show Renji what were light bruises on his forearms from the other man’s grip.

“And I said you _dreamt_ it. I didn’t fuck you last night-” Renji’s hands were brushing his clean shirt down because it was wrinkled and he stalled when he saw the harmful marks on Ichigo’s forearms. “What the hell?! I didn’t do that to you!”

“You did!” Ichigo pushed the fact harder. Renji had and he’d liked it! However what Ichigo couldn’t see was that Renji himself did not like it… Still the ginger, no virgin, knew what the morning after sex felt like and he knew what he’d seen and heard last night too…or at least he _thought_ he did. “Your hair was down just like it is now and you weren’t wearing clothes just like when you got up this morning! I _feel_ like you fucked me,” Ichigo stressed urgently with proofs.

Well knowing that his partner hadn’t been the healthiest in head up to this point Renji was even more concerned by the rest of this. “Do you need to talk to someone? Should I take you to a doctor?”

Ichigo’s form was trembling with the bedsheet cleaving to it. He didn’t feel so good any more. “No..!”

“You sound crazy, Ichigo! We did _not_ have sex and I did not give you those marks! I was a little tipsy, I came home, took a shower and went to _sleep_.” Renji swiped for his wallet and such off of the kitchen counter, backpedaling to reach them and jammed his necessary belongings into his pockets.

“The bed smells like _fucking_ sex,” Ichigo pushed.

“No, it smells like someone’s been masturbating in his excessive spare time, and sheets that the _same_ someone forgot to wash with the rest of the clothes! I would remember if we had sex.”

“But we did!” Ichigo started to sound really pathetic. “You fucked me…”

“Then where’s the damn condom? Or a wrapper?”

Ichigo’s words stilled as he searched Renji’s face. Did Renji always use one? He couldn’t remember.

Renji forced himself not to frown. “Look…” He was really freaking late for work already and he’d be lucky if they didn’t seriously penalize him for it but he had a few minutes at least. The redhead made his way over and set his arms in a consoling way around Ichigo and hugged his bedsheet-draped partner up to his chest. “If it was a good dream then I’m glad you had it.” Then Renji let go and took just one step back to look at the upset expression Ichigo persisted to have…Ichigo wouldn’t look at him either. “But now you’re awake and you need to find something to do today, stop living in dreams and _do something_. Like you did most of the laundry yesterday.”

Timidly Ichigo’s eyes lifted and searched Renji’s face. This was unbelievable.

“I just need you to grow up.”

The slim orange brows over Ichigo’s eyes knitted together over his nose and his lower lip went between his teeth before he spoke up again, “Why won’t you believe me?”

“Because I know what’s real and you don’t seem to.” Renji sighed as he let the words sink in…an instant later he found himself leaning on a wall for support and the side of his face throbbing. “Ouch, what the hell?!” Ichigo had smacked the shit out of him.

“Maybe _I_ know what’s real and _you_ don’t!” Ichigo started to feel angry tears running hotly out of the corners of his eyes and down the flushed cheeks of his face. They saturated the bedsheet that now hung loosely around him and he trembled.

Face smarting, Renji pushed up from the wall and smacked Ichigo back, hard enough to make his partner’s head spin too and right across the face. “If you take a jab at me one more time for trying to help you I won’t try at all!” Renji stabbed a finger at Ichigo’s tilted position.

Two angry, frustrated men… Ichigo was leaning against the side of their couch glaring daggers at Renji as his face smarted something awful too. Renji looked seething angry. He really shouldn’t have hit Renji over something like this but his psyche was in turmoil and his partner thought he was crazy and it was bullshit! Ichigo yelled a final line as Renji stormed away for the door, “Just because I’m troubled doesn’t mean I’m _crazy!_” Ichigo heard the apartment door slam shut as the redhead left in a huff for work then Ichigo sank down to his knees by the couch and started to cry, unabashedly and loud in painful sobs. Fuck! This was pathetic! He’d thought last night was repairing their relationship! It had made him feel better… What kind of mind game was this?! His soul ached to the core…it wanted the good feeling that he’d woken up with this morning to return but that warm sensation was long gone. In ten or so minutes after Ichigo had finished crying his eyes out, hurling pillows and the laundry basket across the living room space in that time too, he had to answer the apartment door for a knock. He had an idea why someone was knocking…unfortunately it wasn’t just his idea of a neighbor asking him to pipe down, it was a security officer from the building’s staff. Shyly sniffing he could see them through the peephole and took a calming breath or two before unlocking and answering the door. Staring right at the officer, with the door just halfway open, Ichigo was still wrapped in a bedsheet and nothing else; he clutched the fabric a little tight. “Umm…”

“Yelling and screaming then some crying and thumps from this apartment…” The security officer could tell that this man’s face was puffy and red from that, a little pinker on one side than the other too…and the marks on his forearms. “Are you alright sir?”

The unshaven and bedheaded ginger nodded nervously, “I’m ok…” He seemed to do a good job of keeping his eyes and expression steady.

“Would you mind if I came in to confirm..?”

Let them in? Should he..? “I…I haven’t showered or anything even.”

“It’s not a bother sir. A few complaints about some noise sounding like an altercation were received so I would appreciate your cooperation.” The security officer pressed because it was their job to press, especially when this man looked a bit like hell.

Ichigo’s one hand gently clutched the door, the other was against the door jam. He wasn’t letting them in but he wasn’t being confrontational either. “To be honest it was just an argument with my partner and he’s already left for work. It won’t happen again…” he seemed to be hopeful that this security person would just go away; he really didn’t want to let them in.

The officer sighed and shrugged, “If it happens again or I receive a more serious complaint later you two might receive a warning, and if you need help from us please call down. Do you need a list of phone numbers?”

This didn’t count as a warning? Well that was good. “I understand fully. I’m- I’m ok, I have the building extensions and all the phone numbers I need. Thank you.” With that the situation was successfully diffused and the fair officer left him alone. As they left Ichigo backed into the apartment, closing the door and turning the deadbolt with a heavy locking thunk. He put the chain on too but he didn’t know why…all it would do was irritate Renji when the other man returned and couldn’t get into the apartment. Ichigo sighed heavily, staring at the back of the door and shook his head. Who could have known that a once nice morning could slip into this? Away from the door Ichigo wandered just as somber and deadened like he was most days, rewrapping the bedsheet around himself it still dragged the ground. He went around cleaning up the things that he’d thrown and a stack of DvDs, video games that they hadn’t played for ages and Renji’s gaming controllers that had been knocked over on their charging stand. Pillows went back on the couch and the laundry went- Ichigo stopped as he was picking up Renji’s dirty clothes. Holding onto them he realized that they smelled like a cologne and masculine scent that wasn’t Renji’s and just when Ichigo thought that he couldn’t sink any lower his posture fell into a slouch in front of the television and where the laundry basket had landed that he’d set upright. The pale-skinned man stayed sitting on the floor clutching his partner’s clothing with more tears welling up and pouring out of his eyes even though he didn’t want to cry. This time he wasn’t loud. Suppose what went around really did come around. Now it was his turn. He didn’t feel like he even deserved to cry but it was upsetting all the same.

Now Ichigo really needed to shower…he needed wash some things away so badly, to rinse off all of the remembrances…straight down the drain… Couldn’t this all just be a dream? The whole damn thing. Anesthetic. He needed some anesthetic or a better substitute so _badly_.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com


	5. Sweat, Seed and Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: rape/dubious consent (interpret it how you please), painful sex

Showered and shaven Ichigo finished the laundry, he washed all of their clothes and the bedding. _Everything_. It all had to be cleaned and fresh…not bear any of the scents that he knew. He struggled to get it all back to their apartment from the laundry room in their complex in just one basket but Ichigo managed without help and then he put every single piece of clothing, cloth, towel, blanket and sheet away so very neatly. He even reported to maintenance that their phone had ‘slipped off of the counter’ and arranged for the service staff to come around in a few days to take a look, there were a lot of tenants to get through before them. How was all that for growing up? Fuck Renji’s remarks. With the ball still rolling Ichigo tried to work on his resume…stopped when he realized that he didn’t have anything much to put on it, afraid that listing his very last job would come back to bite him on the ass because his supervisor hated him so much, and not feeling like he had heart to put into work anymore. He didn’t have any special degrees of education or licenses either…no significant achievements either. Was that all businesses cared about? It was early into the afternoon when Ichigo gave up on his resume and closed the tablet computer, which he shared with Renji, and put it aside dejectedly. He didn’t have a resume. He didn’t have anything. All this world was were people eating people, trouble causing more trouble and money or lack thereof. At least that was how he felt about it anyway.

With a mental nudge and a growling stomach Ichigo moved off of the couch where he’d been for the last hour or two and went about getting a can of soup from one of their leanly stocked cupboards. They were almost out of food. Ichigo saved half of the can for Renji in a plastic container that went into the fridge and warmed the other half up for himself in a bowl; it was a hearty sort of soup so it would be alright if he just ate this today he figured. With his hot bowl of soup and a plastic spoon the pale and fair skinned ginger moved toward a still open window of the apartment where the afternoon air was drafting in. The light of the day showed his clear and fair face plainly with the sight of small freckles appearing over his cheeks. Ichigo scooted out to sit on the window with his feet dangling out over the fire escape and ate his soup while watching the city carry on in the sunlight. Clangs and beeps, shouts and calls, earthy and polluting scents…the sky was a bit smoggy and unclear. Maybe it would rain? Ichigo decided after his soup was finished to smoke again, going to get his pack with only a couple left in it now, and returning to the exact same spot where he’d been eating. Emptying his thoughts he stared long over the railing of the fire escape out at the city below…what if _he_ escaped? The cigarette didn’t last long enough to soothe his thoughts but instead of finishing the rest of the pack or sulking more in bed Ichigo turned on the television and connected it to their tablet and played a continuous stream of soothing music at a reasonable volume while he stayed sitting in their window and watching the world from on high until it began to get dark. It kind of sucked to be the top apartment, especially when there was severe weather, but at the same time this view kind of made it worth it. This time carried a bittersweet bliss into his mind and it cleared out quite a bit of angst.

The world began to darken… It wasn’t the chill of early evening’s air that made Ichigo withdraw into the apartment, much simpler, he eventually had to piss. Still he left the window open, actually both windows, because somehow the outside air made him feel less hopeless. After taking his piss, re-shaving over a spot or two that he’d missed on his face, cleaning the shower and toilet Ichigo was out laying long-ways across the living space’s couch and staring at the dim ceiling with the television and tablet turned off and charging. Ichigo waited, watching the ceiling’s plain color of white darken with dusk, shadows cast through the apartment until it was quite dark and very quiet. He thought about masturbating but he just wasn’t up for it right now. He just watched the dark shape of an old light fixture. So…what was a man without his cock or sexual urges anyway? Just a random thought. He felt useless as a man already but what if he didn’t even have those? Ichigo studied the light and wondered if he should attempt to make Renji dinner instead of being a layabout even though his partner had been a royal ass.

A dark, large shadow ghosted by in the living room in the shade of early nighttime. It was unusual.

Ichigo’s eyes turned down from the light fixture’s shape immediately and he couldn’t see well but everything seemed to still under his suspicious vigil. “Uh…” His eyes stayed down and his chin lowered as he remained on the couch and watched to see what had just moved because he was certain there was something. There came a slightly nervous prickle in his stomach as the quiet room gave nothing up in the mostly dark shade…not even with some streams of light from the windows. Ichigo breathed slower and started to reach up for a long string attached to the light fixture.

As if prompted by movement a large shadow shifted from where it had posted itself right in front of the television.

This was happening right in front of Ichigo and as his fingers bumped the string and missed grasping it the ginger recovered immediately by sitting up fully as the shadow came toward him and quickly turning to climb over the back of the couch with a clumsy tumble. Landing poorly behind the furniture Ichigo had avoided being cornered for now and picked himself up, stumbling away for the apartment’s front door. Unfortunately on his way his hip hit the edge of the kitchen’s island counter, where Renji usually left his personal belongings after work, and he yelped while gripping the intensely sore spot and his legs faltered for a critical moment.

The shadow spread over the walls and moved. It rose in front of the main way out with a smooth shift.

In the relative dark Ichigo found himself too scared to scream or breathe much as the intruder blocked his way then reached out for him, wide hazel eyes stared fearful at a dark blue set that he could barely make out among dark shapes, then Ichigo realized with a terrifying shudder that the intruder was pressing him up to the entranceway’s wall… His hip stung sharply and he’d failed to get away.

Forearms bolstered with muscle showed through limited streams of light from windows and revealed a tribal-like tattoo and a tattoo of a cross upon each of them, smaller crosses spanning second knuckles and hands that caressed over the terrified ginger’s soft face with five sided stars inside of circles.

Vaguely Ichigo saw the gleam of fanged teeth between thin lips and as this shifty person held him to the wall with some kind of great strength, their lower face and shoulders vaguely passed through the light as well. Runic or tribal tattoos rested on muscled traps by their neck and shoulders and a wild grin became their mouth. The edges of short sky-colored hair, blueish, rested against their neck down from their head… Their form was large. They seemed naked. Fortunate enough to be wearing clothing himself Ichigo at least had some kind of barrier between them but worriedly started to push back to get this person, probably another man, off of him. In fear he found his voice, “Please just get off of me…I have enough problems..!”

The intruder just pressed harder and started to force his quarry out of his clothing by pulling or tearing it with great strength that the ginger couldn’t compete with in his defense.

Nearly naked except for underwear, Ichigo tried to wrench away but this was happening too fast and if he tried to yell the intruder covered his mouth with a rough hand every time. Nothing else was working so Ichigo pretended to pass out and went completely limp, falling slightly toward the intruder and the person caught him by the shoulders, pushed him up against the wall and Ichigo felt them pat sharply at his face. Then there was a deep and displeased growl. However much it seemed to be working at first Ichigo realized that it really wasn’t when they still pulled his underwear down. The ginger lurched and made a grab for the garment but it fell to his ankles too quickly. Opening his mouth to yell it was covered again and Ichigo felt the intruder step in and grind against him then take away the hand covering his mouth and start to move both of their hands over their quarry’s body.

Appreciatively they groped and felt of fair skin, picking up and with force separating the man’s legs as the unfortunate man was still pinned up to the wall.

Ichigo felt them grab his arms and tug them up too, holding his forearms together on the wall with one large hand. He tried to kick and push away but they were between his lifted legs already so there was no way to have leverage enough, he couldn’t kick anything.

Their other hand went under the squirming naked man to a perpetually rigid cock and nudged its head up in between his quarry’s cheeks and let it spurt a slight burst of fluid that soaked the tense pucker and crevasse.

A shivering charge raced up Ichigo’s spine and he began a shout and, instead of having his mouth covered this time though, the shouted sound was choked and came out as a long moan when a large erection wedged its head in through his clenching hole _painfully_. Well…the worst was now already happening. Ichigo’s voice faded into soft and painful pants as his arms remained pinned up to the wall and his body was bounced up and down on the excruciatingly large member; his own erection grew shamelessly with the passing seconds because penetration was penetration even if he didn’t want this. Whatever…this was just another nightmare…and just like that Ichigo quickly gave up resisting as anyone might to reduce the traumatic feeling. More than anesthetized hazel eyes stared forward and once and a while his sight caught parts of the intruder in the dull light, but mostly he couldn’t see more than thick shadows. It wasn’t like he wasn’t in constant pain otherwise…this was just a different kind. This person bounced him more vehemently and started to kiss him while the large penetration split Ichigo’s lean body. Without will of resistance it pounded him into a state of unusual bliss once he’d stretched and the pain in his asshole turned into an ache instead of a sting. His guts felt like twisting but his nerves sang a different tune. Despite the unfortunate situation Ichigo liked being fucked anyway, he just hadn’t asked for this. Maybe he didn’t deserve it…not for all of the rotten and lazy things he’d ever done, but maybe being raped by an intruder wasn’t the worst thing life had to offer. He started to feel like this might actually be real… As Ichigo breathed in shaky breaths with soft moans or groans of mild pain he glared through the dark. “I would stab you…” he spat among sweltering pleasure forced on him.

Darker black shadows unfurled from the intruder’s back as he breathed hard per the effort he exerted to keep this up and the pleasure that he probably felt. A spread of wings stretched out to either sides of this person, wings of dark fleshy membrane with thick cartilage and bone. Some streaming light illuminated them, but they folded back up again after a stretch and the intruder started stroking his quarry’s handsome face. Their cock slowed its pumping down just a bit and they kissed the ginger’s soft lips which they just couldn’t resist and weren’t bitten as a result, surprisingly. That was a refreshing feeling.

When the kiss stopped their lips parted with a soft wet sound. “You’re not human…” Ichigo shuddered to admit as he could manage to open and close his hands, shifting his raised elbows a little too because they were going to sleep above his head.

“I’m not,” a deep voice responded back. “And you’re beautiful…”

Ichigo’s breath was shaky as he still felt the bounce from being fucked and their fluids slathering between his ass cheeks – including sweat, seed and blood. Suppose this was real, suppose this was what he got after all he’d done or ignored… Even if he didn’t actually deserve it Ichigo’s thoughts were still trying to twist this some way that made sense like deserving it, enjoying it. Many unfortunate or foolish people before him had done the same. The creature kissed him again, almost sweetly on the lips and moved to his neck and there kissed and suckled the flesh. Ichigo’s head leaned as pleasures overtook the reality of his situation. This should be a twisted nightmare… Humanoid creatures with wings didn’t actually exist.

When its lips moved away next the creature spoke again. “You are wasted on the scarlet-haired man.”

Words struck a personal chord. “You don’t know him…”

“Well I have been inside him and he is too timid and small for you.”

“Eh?”

“I am the one who pleasured you last night.” The creature’s baritone rumbled. “And I can do so again. Do you want eternal pleasure?”

Ichigo’s voice hesitated to answer the deep-voiced question. When he didn’t respond the creature livened his penetrating member’s rate of thrust and the intense increase sent waves of pleasure laced agony up Ichigo’s body and the ginger was crying out in ecstasy, kissed again and then ravaged so mercilessly that he couldn’t do more than endure. Surely the ever-gripping and squeezing body provided this creature ample pleasure as it surged to make its offer clear. Gaining the most pleasure from penetration as he usually did Ichigo’s free arousal spurted his own seed onto their chest and in turn he felt the girth in his ass swell and an unusually large amount of fluid must have filled him because after that it was leaking out quite heavily. He felt unclean, wrong…but he didn’t exactly care for some hazy reason. Stuck on making soft huffs and moans as his muddled head and shoulders leaned back against the wall in a dumb state the quality of Ichigo’s orgasm pleased him greatly regardless.

The creature did not withdraw and its member did not soften. “Do you want _this_ pleasure _forever?_”

He didn’t want to feel misery any more that was for sure, and if this quality of experience was what he was offered for the rest of his days… Wearily the ginger responded with a tired blink of his eyes, “Y-Yes…” This situation was certainly convoluted, but at least it hadn’t been exactly traumatic. The girth started to slide out of his messy hole and as soon as the tip’s ridge was out the creature let the ginger’s legs and arms down, though Ichigo could not support himself well without the wall’s presence.

“Then I will come again. Your window must be open.” The creature left the sex-dazed human appropriately in the shower of the apartment’s small bathroom, _alone_, with the warm water running and then the creature was gone…back into the night…the natural time whence he roamed the world.

Sweaty, now soaked wet and lulled Ichigo came around to his situation in some minutes and shakily stood up with some of that thing’s seed still dripping from his ass he supposed. He felt horrible and wonderful intensely at the same time. The only light on in the bathroom was a small nightlight in a plug by the sink. His hands collapsed on the walls of the shower for support and Ichigo breathed with his mouth open under the warm shower’s water. His thoughts were confused. His legs were shaking but they tingled and his back and gut hurt… That was…remarkably perverse. The ginger looked down in dim light and realized that he was quite hard again, so laying his back against the tile of the shower he decided to beat off to the memory of the strange intruder who had invaded his body so savagely. He stroked his cock and fingered himself vehemently and spared no amount of rigor.

Close to this time the sound of the front door to their apartment unlocking and the deadbolt spinning came around but it wasn’t loud enough to be heard over the shower. Not that it really mattered, Renji was home…and as he tried to get into the apartment the privacy chain caught and he sighed. Had Ichigo really done this to him? If that little asshole was asleep… Renji could hear the shower on. “Fuck…why is he so paranoid?” Renji wedged a hand in with annoyance and fumbled with the chain and its slider, unhooking the thing and making his way in without further trouble. He shut the door with a clack, tossed his keys into the usual basket and started stripping off his windbreaker. “Ichigo…I’m home and I didn’t get fired…” No one responded. Feeling that to be unsurprising with a sigh Renji locked the apartment door and made his way up the entranceway hall, stepping beside cast-down clothing of his partner’s which he didn’t notice in the relative dark, and tossed his jacket onto the kitchen’s counter habitually. He turned on a light in the dark apartment and looked around ahead of himself, finding it to be quite tidy. No belongings out of place…but it did smell like Ichigo’s musk _heavily_ in here and Renji had to frown when he realized that the windows were still open. He shut them, both of them, just in case the heat started working – not likely.

Just about then Ichigo was coming out of the bathroom wrapped by the waist in a towel and patting his hair dry with another towel. Perhaps he’d noticed Renji’s return. In the lit space of the living room he saw his crimson-haired partner standing over by the television where the second window was and he noticed that they were now closed. “What are you doing?” The ginger patted away drips of water from his hair and bare torso, feeling fresh.

Looking toward his showered partner Renji shook his head. “There was a cat on the fire escape.”

“Oh? They’re usually not up so high.”

Shrugging the redhead made his way away from the window and over toward Ichigo, quickly noticing the marks on Ichigo’s forearms a shade darker than he remembered them to be this morning and they also seemed to have spread closer to the ginger’s wrists. Renji’s steps toward his partner faltered… Marks like this on such fair skin as Ichigo’s were hard to miss. Renji shook his head. “What happened?”

Ichigo’s eyes were calm even as he realized what his partner was observing because Renji’s eyes on his arms were obvious, “I was just practicing tying myself up.” Then he smiled partially and moved past Renji like that didn’t matter at all and picked up his cast-down clothing of earlier which went into their laundry basket; he knew Renji didn’t care about his problems in the way that he wanted him to anyway.

The redhead turned to watch Ichigo walk off and looked worried and confused. “I’m sorry I hit you this morning.” He didn’t know exactly what was going on in his partner’s mind but he couldn’t figure it out without help. He watched the back of Ichigo’s head and bare back as the other man moved over to their bed and Ichigo tossed one towel over the back of the couch.

“I’m sorry you did too.” Unfortunately it didn’t seem like Ichigo was going to be any help. Ichigo was taking off the second towel, feeling a cold change in his demeanor, and tossed that towel over the back of the couch as well. Then the ginger climbed over the foot of the bed and spread out naked on top of the covers. He did _not_ care what Renji had to say, he just felt so…damn…good for a change, and Renji couldn’t take that from him this time. If anything Ichigo was tuning the other man out.

“Well… Yeah. Uuh…” Renji fumbled with his words without being sure what he should say. “I’m going to take a shower.” With or without hot water; he just wanted to be clean.

The night ended peacefully and somber. With Ichigo having fallen asleep above the covers of the bed in the buff and Renji showering off his day at work and crawling into bed like usual. They didn’t cuddle. They didn’t kiss.

…and Ichigo didn’t seem to consider what he might pay for ‘eternal pleasure’.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com


	6. Penetrating Morals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: raw and painful sex, blood

**Uncensored Illustration by [Owari26](https://twitter.com/owari26):**

_(see final note for artist details)_

Still naked as he’d been before he’d passed out Ichigo woke later than Renji, typical, who once again had departed for work early – also typical. The redhead had left a hand-written note taped to the back of his partner’s hand which Ichigo found this morning. The curtains were closed and though it was morning it was very cool and shaded in the apartment; perhaps that was Renji’s kind way of helping Ichigo sleep in as the ginger so seemed to enjoy… The note read something along the lines of ‘responsibility’ and asking Ichigo to ‘remember to eat again’. Was Renji his parent or his partner? It was getting hard to tell and regardless…Renji didn’t have his respect so why should he listen to him? Renji had told him that he ‘loved him’ just before getting down on someone else…Ichigo’s mind was hard pressed to forget that. Love was _trash_. As a half-awake Ichigo stared unhappily at Renji’s handwriting he considered his own mistakes. He at least knew they were mistakes but he hadn’t tried to kiss Renji’s ass right before going to fuck someone else so he tried to think of what he’d done as less despicable. Honestly Ichigo’s head wasn’t very ready for such crap thoughts immediately after waking. Groggily disapproving of the perceived parental aura of this note and his own guilty thoughts Ichigo pulled the paper off of his hand and stuck it to their headboard then slid his pillow closer and comfortably went back to sleep…

The elusive swirl of bliss. The agony of passion. The carnal nature of sex. Nothing but pleasure could make him better, right? Ichigo was awoken again in a sweat by some amalgamation nightmare and twisted upon their bed until he realized that he couldn’t even go back to sleep. With frustration he got up instead and stumbled away from the bed, going to the bathroom where he managed to wash off his face and shave. Then he jerked off over the toilet with a hand on his cock and the other planted against the wall because he couldn’t clear his head, mentally speaking, but once he’d cum the pleasure made him a little less tense and then he had a piss. As he watched his whitish cum swirling in the bowl’s yellowed water the ginger man noticed his hip was _darkly_ bruised from yesterday… He hadn’t paid it mind in the shower last night. That dark mark there really _hurt_ now… After shaking off and flushing almost like a sleepwalker he moved from the bathroom without regard for clothing and calmly whisked apart the curtains of the window by their television and raised up this window’s lower pane. Squinting into the early afternoon’s light was like he was looking into a divine brilliance with these humble mortal eyes and that was uncomfortable…but not enough to stall his decision. The creature had said that the window must be open for him to come again. He felt a cool breeze wash in over his bare body. Fair skin bristling and member inclined to shrink slightly more he shivered and felt the strange anticipation of ambiguous hope. In reality he was inviting in a _demon_, or the image of one, to their home and that was _dangerous_…but what more could someone so lost do?

It took hours for the sun to start falling but in these hours time seemed longer with something to wait for. The ginger remained comfortably clothed in just a loose t-shirt while he laid comfortably upon the bed with a comic book to distract himself, reading but always with an eye on the sun’s light. The sun falling didn’t take more than an hour and when Ichigo heard a _clack_ against their window he looked up with curiosity. It took a moment staring at the dusk-lit area and glass. As he lay half-bare and comfortable upon the bed his hazel eyes widened and his mouth opened slightly when a _hulk_ of a creature stepped into the apartment through the one open window across the room; it was naked and looked brutishly powerful all lined with muscle and imposing height. He hadn’t been able to see this much detail about them before…

Coming in from the dusky skyline of the city the creature’s fiendish wings of leathery blackened membrane and knuckle-like joints at their tips slanted to fit through the single open window. It couldn’t be helped, this small abode had only two windows and they were exactly the same size in any case. Cruel blueish eyes surrounded by considerably masculine features scanned the space of the humble humans’ apartment. Teal sorts of tattoos were about the outer corners of each diligently cruel eye. Just the half-naked human on the bed he saw… His wings folded up near his back, where they attached, again with slight sway – a testament to their weight. In fading light of the evening this creature looked mostly like a man, muscular and built with a human body and skin of a tanned human-like flesh but his head of hair was wildly swept up and resembled the color of a clear blue sky – rather unnatural.

Just amazed at the good-looking man-like creature before him, to see it in plain fading light, Ichigo folded his comic book closed on a decorative page marker and pushed the object aside as he sat up on the soft bedding and just gazed. …and this creature was stripped to the _skin_. A large, persistent erection and swollen pair of balls hung at the male creature’s muscle thickened thighs, sky blue pubic hair grew down toward and around its base. Ichigo was hard-put not to stare directly down but he kind of did anyway. Propping himself up his hands and arms leaned on the bed the t-shirt over his form was only just covering his nethers and left his milky legs and arms exposed. He was so unsure of what to say, half surprised that this had even worked.

The visitor was more articulate, cold blues settled onto the human sternly as the creature’s attention was on Ichigo. “Lay back down so I can have you.” It was directly clear what this creature had come for in more than one way.

Ichigo noticed something else, the hollow clanks and clinks of a chain and fur tail attached on this creature’s lower back which trailed along with a limp drag over surfaces. _Hollow_ clinks. Were those chains made out of _bone?_ That was grim, but still no fear took precedence no matter how strange this creature seemed to appear. “H-How should I lay?”

Seeming much like a human, even speaking a human language, this male creature didn’t act very human as per the question he moved from where he’d entered and his wings acted as deft limbs as they helped him climb over furniture, the couch, as swift as he would have come around it. It was a shortcut to the bed where his quarry had stayed. These wings moved their knuckles up onto the soft surface of the bed and helped him get leverage as with a fanged, _wild_ grin the creature reached out and grabbed the human’s ankles and pulled the ginger down the bed toward himself. All in one mighty heave.

Ichigo was turned over onto his stomach and didn’t struggle as the loose t-shirt on him was pushed up and hands moved over his exposed flesh like an appreciative or admiring petting, from high back to the rear of his pale thighs.

Humans’ flesh was always so soft and pliable. “Keep your position here.” The creature’s wings shifted again, one at a time their knuckles supportively moved in closer and their black leathery membrane shook with the tension of tight flesh.

The dusky light of the room started to darken as night was coming. Ichigo was a mind bent to want this dangerous pleasure, choosing use and defilement because there seemed to be nothing else left that could give him mind-numbing pleasure. The human felt a familiar spurt of fluid between his ass’s cheeks and then a large tip of flesh pushing in on his asshole until it just gave and let the ‘intruder’ in with a hard plunge. That hurt like hell. Ichigo’s face scrunched with pain and mouth opened where a moment later came a pained groan, “Aaaagh!” This was certainly an unusual means to eventual pleasure.

The creature reached out with its tattooed arms and hands and grasped the shoulders of his quarry, holding the ginger’s upper body down and finished plunging himself in with a wetted and forceful push toward the human’s body. That small pink hole gave and strained around his girth and the creature gave a grunt. A line of blood ran down the back of the human’s thigh; blood did not matter to him so at balls’ depth he started to pump with bent legs and wings and hands on the human supporting his weight to have support. The creature’s skin was thick and durable, he didn’t care how hard the human’s body squeezed him it couldn’t damage this inhuman form.

An immediately stinging amount of pain wracked Ichigo and he pushed his face against the covers over their mattress to muffle a sound of agony with the fairly lubricated member shafting into his body repeatedly without prep-work and making the sting worse. No amount of lubrication could have actually removed that sting from such a girth’s penetration, it was just more than his body was meant to take; Ichigo knew that from the first time, however the ginger human had been looking forward to this. His cock grew as it rubbed against the end of their bed. Ichigo lifted his face, panting so that he wouldn’t suffocate or yell. “Ouch…god…”

“_God_ cannot hear you.”

With this Ichigo tended to agree…even if his remark was passive. The crosses and pentagram tattoos that he could see on hands holding him down by the shoulders pleased him for some reason and at least _someone_ could hear him. The fair human felt his flesh, muscles and limbs bounce as the groin behind him knocked into his ass repeatedly with hollow clinks of the creature’s tail…it still hurt like hell but he liked the abuse and attention. The heady musk of sex, arousal, sweat and blood spread broadly like his legs, taking over the air. Other thoughts drained from Ichigo’s mind, and enamored of the exceptionally painful and sudden sex he stayed in position; the creature was welcomed to have its fill.

The visiting creature seemed to enjoy doing this to the human for himself more than anything as he only made use of the ginger’s body and offered no comforts. Wrecking this human’s once small and precious little asshole was good entertainment, though he missed this human’s struggling and threats a bit. Eventually Ichigo was made to kneel on the end of the bed and raise his hips to accommodate a new angle of approach where the creature had better access for his height and leaned over Ichigo’s messy ass with a still fast pace at pumping his cock between those tight cheeks and his bone chain link tail rattling about.

By now a lot of mixed fluids ran down Ichigo’s thighs from between his ass’s cheeks and the feeling of being fucked and reamed was sweltering. Ichigo was still panting in this kneeling position. Sting had turned into an ache just like last time and after enough reaming he was free to enjoy the rest of their sex. The penetration really got him off. Ichigo’s poor neglected and flushed human cock dripped precum in long drooling strands that splashed himself and the bedding as his erection swayed while he was kneeling and taking the merciless reaming. His shoulders were still held down by stern tattooed hands so Ichigo’s forearms helped him stay positioned and his hands were free to grasp and squeeze at the covers on the bed. This was like being hot and cold at the same time, heat from exertion and arousal topped with pain and cold from the air against his sweating, aching body. All Ichigo could or wanted to think about was how much of this creature was in him and there was plenty…

Of course the creature watched his quarry with a close eye, his wings had flared out a little more – broader shadows in the coming nighttime darkness and shadows that fell over his ballsy quarry.

Without other cares, good or bad, Ichigo didn’t talk or beg for anything. He was getting what he was getting, and it was nearly more than he could handle. His face, knees and forearms were rubbing heavily against the covers of a bed he was supposed to only share with one man and he could barely feel his shoulders anymore under compression. His nerves’ steel was getting _so_ thin but the ginger made sure he was still accommodating to his visitor though his guts ached, his body was bruised or worse and his ass…well he was bleeding and would know how bad off he was after the creature finished with him. Sexual urges were busy being served and sated so Ichigo could ignore all of his problems. This was quite adverse and simple compared to regular misery, no wonder he’d opened the windows to this danger. The revolving urge to cum was nagging Ichigo really hard as he drooled and panted on his knees.

The sky had finished darkening and the sun was banished by the moon and stars which smog and clouds mostly covered, so tonight was especially dark.

After a long and agonizing session it was the creature who unloaded first and filled the human’s body with an abundance of his seed and then some. When he pulled his perpetual arousal out of the human’s ass with a sloppy wet sound and backed off, the ginger was left hunched on his knees with his bloody and cum-soaked asshole gaping for a few moments. Perhaps embodying insatiable appetite or virility, this creature’s cock was still erect and his balls remained swollen and large; he had full control over when and how much he unloaded into or upon another – not experiencing maximum pleasure like a human might, nor releasing his seed for the same reasons.

Having been pumped full for so long Ichigo’s whole body recognized that girth withdraw and arched slightly as it felt dramatically emptier, having a hard time fathoming that intense fucking being finished. This movement caused more mixed fluids to drain out of him. This time he felt fucked…he felt _very_ fucked and looked it too if anyone else could have seen him bent over in the dark in such an exhausted manner. It hurt but this perverse pain was exactly what he wanted. He felt that he might finally cum…

The nocturnal creature could see perfectly in the dark and his wild grin didn’t abate as he appreciated the messy aftermath; a sweet, pleasant and stretched hole between pale colored cheeks and a mess streaming down from it over milky thighs and a flushing sweet little sack hung between those thighs. ‘Beautiful’ perhaps he was thinking…or just plain amused. One couldn’t tell. A few seconds following and the untouched member on this human unloaded semen onto the bed with a shudder from its owner and the ginger’s balls hiked up as it seemed to take a second for the human to fathom what had just happened to him. The creature had his muscled arms crossed, meanwhile one of his hands had hold of the chain and fur tail which swung to and fro idly. Suppose he was waiting to see if he’d broken the human.

Fuck, if living with misery and hopelessness hadn’t broken Ichigo yet this physical thrashing certainly wasn’t going to; he was leaner than he’d ever been but still had some resilience. With slight dampness to his eyes, Ichigo’s cheek was against the bed and his arms out uselessly and his shirt was still pushed up. He was returning to feeling as his rear stayed up like it was locked into that position as he was on his knees on top of the foot of the bed. Slightly drooling and clear fluid dripped from his nose, Ichigo couldn’t even keep his eyes open fully… It didn’t matter much; he couldn’t really see in the dark. If that reaming would have gone on much longer he wondered what his body would have done other than trying to leak from every orifice. He took in a few shaky breaths and his limbs all twitched slightly.

This creature’s mouth once again spread into a wild grin, but nighttime had fallen so it was an impossible expression to see. He knew if he did this too many more times that the human might actually be too ruined for further use but suppose he was now impressed that the ginger could even move. He swung the end of his chained tail around once before dropping it again with padded hollow clinks of the bone links against the carpet underfoot.

Ichigo weakly groaned and closed his eyes as he just breathed, trying to let the pain pass. Oh how his body _hurt_ with the temporary pleasure diminishing…

“What a pleasant lay…” it sounded almost like the creature was condescending to his quarry.

Ichigo felt his legs start to slip and they went down over the end of the bed and a gush of the fluids in him ran down one of his legs. “Uuugh…” He didn’t have the stamina right now to verbally joust. He struggled to not slide onto the floor with strength gone but Ichigo still managed to heave himself up and lay on his back against the bed, eyes blankly staring at the vague shadows and darkness of the ceiling.

The creature clapped his hands, amused. “Many times I could fill you but nothing is more interesting than how much you crave me despite this harm.”

Ichigo’s breathing was weak as he recovered, his calves and feet just dangled over the edge of the bed and among the agony he felt something warm, smooth and wet glide down on his spent member and start sucking off any cum that remained. The human’s breath stuttered and he moaned pathetically while after being sucked upon a tongue licked some of their seed and blood off of him. No doubt whose mouth and tongue it was.

The male creature backed off with a lick of his lips when he’d had enough. He liked the taste of humans and their fluids. “I returned to discuss what will give you eternal pleasure. You still desire it?”

“Yes…”

The creature’s eyes, seeing in the dark, raked the exhausted human’s mostly naked and sprawled form. If only they healed faster… “As the one to see to your pleasure I will need you to _give me_ your body and soul so that I may tend them as needed. If you have no sense to make this deal now I will return only _one_ time more at your request and then I will be _done_ with you if you have no answer.” The baritone and dark shadow of this creature was all that could be noticed by human eyes presently.

Ichigo confronted the shadow in the dark about these terms. “What if I want to keep my body and soul..?”

“Why would you? Your body is frail, you will die or I will break it eventually.”

“You like it as it is…and so do I.” Ichigo’s point was solid and he was having a hard time talking but the statement didn’t hesitate.

“Mmm, fair. Then I will give you one more choice.” The creature came back toward the bed with heavy steps in the shadowy dark and brushed the back of one of its rough hand’s knuckles affectionately against the side of the ginger’s face. Caress of darkness. “Induction.” The creature’s leathery membraned wings slanted as its shadow sat on the bed near to the human and placed its hand on Ichigo’s shoulder and raised another that could barely be recognized in the dark but for a glow as a long claw sprouted up from a single finger raised and radiated light. “Complete for me one favor.”

Ichigo’s eyes regarded the eerie indication of an amount of payment.

“You shall kill _one_ other human for me.” The clawed finger curled back down and the glow was out. The creature caressed the human’s face sweetly with both hands then removed himself from the bed, sauntering toward the window again with his same method of winged limbs helping him to climb over the couch improperly again. The bare amount of city light from that window helped show some of his menacing form again as he arrived across the room – muscled and imposing. “Or we might forget the whole deal if you do not have a strong enough liking for my cock and your pleasure or cannot agree to either term…however if you ask me to return again and I find you to be wasting my time with indecision…I can become _exceptionally_ unhappy…” The last word of that sentence was said darkly, like a threat. “I might rip _new_ holes in you for my use.”

While the creature was distancing itself to depart Ichigo was listening and his thoughts swirled as new words and present thoughts muddled his head. “Hold on! Why do you want me to _kill_ someone?!” Even to a miserable wreck he knew that a request like this was a bit insane but he also didn’t want to give anyone his body and soul.

Surely though…this shadowy, sinister creature just wanted to see how depraved this human could get. Committing murder seemed fair in exchange for something pleasing and eternal that ordinarily couldn’t last so long. “You know, there are others who ask less questions I am sure-”

“Don’t- Nnrrgh!” Ichigo was hurrying to get off of the bed and collapsed beside it with weakened lower half. As he breathed through his pain his shirt had fallen back down to barely covering himself while he was upon the carpeted floor. Fear of another kind slithered into this mess. “Don’t pick someone else. _Please_.” He couldn’t stop this creature from leaving by force, but he had the nerve to beg instead. Ichigo was _actually_ considering his options here; it was either give himself up one way or another. “If I could shake you and make you understand…”

“Your body entirely or your morals abstractly,” the creature huffed in summary with an annoyed tone of voice. He didn’t doubt this man’s ability to be useful either way, this human seemed determined, all the ginger had to do was choose one. “Or call this off _now_ and do not waste my time. I have eternal conflicts of my own to fight and if you have not the balls for this I do not think I care to fuck you again anyhow.”

“What’s your name?” Ichigo snapped, irritated that he couldn’t do much to make this easier.

“I will tell you when we have an accord of some kind, otherwise you do not need to know it.” A weak human didn’t deserve to know a figure like himself better.

“Then _what_ are you?” Ichigo stressed, trying to pick himself up again with a painful stagger.

“Enough! It does _not_ matter! Does your mouth always gape as much as your-”

Already wobbly Ichigo fell down again but this time his shoulder hit the small table on his side of the bed and the lamp on top of it fell forward and cracked him on the head before the creature had a chance to finish speaking. In an instant a very messed up Ichigo had passed out on the floor among shattered pieces of ceramic glass, perhaps spared the aggressor’s wrath. After the lamp shattered all was nearly quiet…save for someone angrily pounding on a wall twice for their neighbor to shut the fuck up.

Ignoring the irritated fist to a wall, as other humans weren’t his concern right now, the creature waited for a minute then when the fair-skinned man didn’t rise his wings and limbs hauled his shadowy form over the couch again toward the space between the bed and the wall. The human was unmoving on the floor but breathing very faintly as he remembered they needed to do. Still sharp of sight in the dark the creature crouched and extending his luminescent claws he picked the ceramic glass off of the ginger’s body and dusted the unconscious human off. This blue haired and winged creature licked Ichigo’s blood off of the ginger’s peacefully unconscious face as the sanguine fluid ran down from Ichigo’s injured head. It was a flavor to remember. Well he wouldn’t help more than that, and laid Ichigo down among the glass again, but if this one wasn’t resilient enough to get back up again the creature felt the slightest tug that he might be disappointed.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For the illustration provided:  
Owari worked so friggin' hard on this and I love it so with her permission I'm adding it to the chapter it pertains to!  
Thank you very much! *brimming with excitement*  
You can find her on Twitter (https://twitter.com/owari26) and Tumblr (https://owari26.tumblr.com/).


	7. Burn in Hell

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: moar toxic relationship

It was a few days since Renji had returned home from work and found his partner a sorry heap on the floor by their bed where there was blood staining their covers like was dripping from Ichigo’s scalp and a broken lamp. Dried red on orange. Paramedics and cops were involved which had a very _embarrassing_ turn out for Ichigo whose semen was mixed with blood found on their bedding and his body was something of a mess. Where first was sympathy for someone who’d been attacked or had an episodic breakdown of some kind now there was just distanced scrutiny mostly. The authorities had tried to refer Ichigo to a sexual therapist of some kind which the man had declined; there was nothing they could do more because the ginger was seemingly in his right mind and there was no outright evidence of worse than a sexual experimentation going on.

Second to Ichigo who was mortified enough and couldn’t explain himself past ‘I was trying something’, _Renji_ felt rather humiliated as he was dragged with questions about their relationship, considered as a suspect and then finally let go by authorities after Ichigo explained himself. Now, instead of sleeping in bed with Ichigo, Renji had gone to their couch every night since because the final nail in the coffin of trust was Ichigo trying to tell him about being ravaged by something inhuman. Renji didn’t believe what he was hearing, he didn’t believe it for a second. At the end of his rope what he _did_ believe was that Ichigo might’ve invited someone into the apartment that shouldn’t have been there.

Tonight Ichigo was huddled under the covers of their large bed, still sleeping on his side as he was used to but Renji’s side was vacant and he’d heard his partner get situated on the couch and turn on the television. The maintenance staff had come by and fixed their phone and the heat miraculously, though it was doubtful how long the heat would actually work for this time, so the apartment’s windows had been shut for these days. Ichigo pulled the covers over his head as he was having trouble falling asleep. A few minutes later he pushed them back again because it was really stuffy. “Renji…” Ichigo didn’t get any response. He felt too hot and dull…it hadn’t been a good few days. “Renji please turn that off…”

“Please shut up…” Renji groused from the couch. He wasn’t asleep yet.

With annoyance Ichigo started to slide out of bed and made his way over to the couch, leaning on the back of it with folded arms; he was wearing his thin sleeping pants and nothing else again. He found Renji’s eyes open and the other man turned his head slightly, amassed crimson hair around his head by the varying light of the television. Ichigo reached for the remote control.

Renji smacked his partner’s hand away from it. “Don’t you dare.”

“I can’t sleep…” Ichigo pressed, limply drawing his hand back.

“I really don’t care, you have all day tomorrow to sleep.”

“Turn it off!”

“No!”

Ichigo flinched as someone hit their ceiling with something, their floor, trying the get the bitter couple to pipe the fuck down. “Then I’m going to smoke _in_ bed,” he hissed at a lower volume and was marching off right now to get his last cigarette from the pack; he’d saved that one.

Renji was quick to sit up on the couch and aim a finger over the back of the couch toward the ginger. “Don’t you fucking dare…” he growled lowly.

Without much regard for Renji nor the annoyed neighbors Ichigo shut his bedside drawer with a wooden clack that echoed on the walls, took out the cigarette and put it between his lips as he stood beside their bed and lit up.

Renji came off of the couch and around it right away. “Get rid of the cigarette.”

Ichigo mimicked Renji talking in a dramatic and unflattering manner as he picked up on the corner of the covers and was sliding back into their bed. He blew smoke at the ceiling. It wasn’t that the apartments disallowed smoking…it was just that Renji didn’t like it. “You know what? Until you turn off the TV go to hell.” Ichigo fidgeted with his lighter.

Renji took another step and found out that his partner was pretty alright with sending him there himself as a lighter with the flame still burning was thrown and the redhead narrowly dodged it but the lighter set the thin curtains of the window beside their bed aflame as soon as it hit the wall. “Oh fuck!” Renji ripped the covers off of their bed and unceremoniously off of Ichigo and after snapping the lighter shut he patted the shit out of the small fire on the end of the curtains before it could spread. He’d put it out… Renji huffed as he held the covers in fists and snapped his head toward Ichigo who had apathetically slid off of the bed over the end and gone to turn off the television. The casual way that Ichigo had slipped away really pissed Renji off. Instead of using the remote Ichigo was standing next to it and calmly pushed the power button on the back. Renji watched his partner look at him apathetically then walk away into their small bathroom and shut the door. The redhead was fucking furious and after tossing their singed covers back onto the bed he stormed toward the bathroom and shoved open the door which wasn’t locked. “Tell me exactly what the fuck is the matter with you,” he demanded.

Ichigo was at the sink splashing water on his face with his cigarette set aside and he refused to answer aloud but as Renji started complaining while at the door all Ichigo’s thoughts could do was ring with _‘You. You are my problem.’_ and just like that…he’d given up his potential for a dignified recovery.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com


	8. The Guilt

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: gonna have to read it to find out~

Sitting upon the window, where Ichigo could watch over the city skyline past the edge of their fire escape the ginger was spending his calm morning lamenting his lack of cigarettes and company; not company in general…just company that he specifically desired. Why didn’t he have any friends? He couldn’t remember.

In the background Renji was getting dressed for work. They’d made up a little, as far as the redhead could tell. Currently he was brushing out his long mane of crimson hair and came by the window where Ichigo was parked. Tossing his brush onto their couch nearby then putting his hands on his partner’s warm and bare shoulders, Renji kissed Ichigo’s neck and up to the ginger’s ear in a genuine manner and smiled, “I’ll be back in time for our date. Are you sure that you want to go out?” Leaving work early for this was a big deal and Renji didn’t want to do it needlessly but they seemed to need it and this date was his idea – hopeful it would help.

Ichigo turned his handsomely curved face to the side so that he could look over his shoulder and see one of Renji’s hands and the other man’s face next to his. Ichigo had the sweetest lips and long eyelashes to enhance his face. “I’m sure. I’ll call the cab.” He wasn’t being petty and he wasn’t being unfriendly…for a change.

Renji brushed the short strands of Ichigo’s orange hair aside so that he could kiss his partner’s neck again. “Alright.” His sharp eyes turned up as he looked away from Ichigo out toward their city’s skyline and the sun gleaming on all of those glassy and metal buildings; the redhead smiled as he saw what Ichigo was seeing. “Wow…I usually don’t look around until I’m on the ground.”

Ichigo’s large hazel eyes studied Renji’s face for a moment before turning to look out at the skyline again too. “Yeah it’s pretty…hey, I’ll press your suit too.”

Renji smiled and kissed his partner on the cheek, “That’d be wonderful.” He gently patted Ichigo before returning to his routine of readying for work.

With the morning’s air and the sight of the city to occupy his mind Ichigo waited specifically until he heard Renji by their front door, rattling around with his belongings and keys, then turned and climbed back into the apartment from the window. In just his usual of thin sleeping pants the ginger walked noiselessly across the main room’s space and up the entranceway’s hall.

Renji was prepared to leave except for his hair, which he was tying back or trying to currently; his hair was pretty damn thick and it could be hard to wrangle even after he’d brushed it smooth.

“You should leave it down for today,” Ichigo made a soft suggestion.

Renji flinched at his partner’s silent and sudden appearance. “Woah! Haha, I can’t do that. It’s unprofessional.” His fingers had stalled with the tie.

Ichigo advanced more and reached for the redhead’s hands. “Here. Let me…”

“Ah, alright just don’t braid it.” Renji’s hands relinquished his hair’s tie to the ginger and he felt Ichigo smooth out the long red strands and tie them back into a perfect tail at the base of his head. That was comfortable. Renji turned after grabbing his keys and touched Ichigo’s cheek with a one-sided smile and thanked his partner before leaving the apartment.

Ichigo shut the door after Renji, holding onto the knob for a little longer than usual then engaging the deadbolt with a thunk and running the door’s chain across. His face lost all expression and turned steely, staring at the panel of the door before he moved away. One thought they had somewhat made up…the other was absolutely not of that mind. Ichigo couldn’t trust Renji. So the rest of the ginger’s morning was spent cleaning their apartment…_obsessively_. When Ichigo was finally done by afternoon he opened both windows to let the chemical smells air out then laid on the couch watching television. Around him the living room area was tidy, the kitchen was spotlessly clean, the closet was in perfect order, the carpet was scrubbed, their bed was made, the walls were wiped down…the bathroom was bleached and immaculate, their suits were hung and pressed neatly on the shower’s top edge…not a single hair out of place. Ichigo didn’t budge from the couch as the day waned.

When the sun was going down a large shadow passed before the window nearest the couch and predictably a familiar creature entered the apartment from the dusky world.

Calmly Ichigo started to get up from the couch, leaving the television on but muting the volume. He turned to face his visitor.

The shamelessly naked creature could immediately tell that there was something decisive about this human. He also smelled the cleaning chemicals in the air. “Have an answer, do you?” His expression was calmly expectant.

Clenching his fists at his sides and lightly grabbing the fabric of the thin sleeping pants he wore, the only clothing on his lean and pale frame, Ichigo nodded and stared at the creature’s chest with as stern of an expression as he could manage. Renji would disapprove of what he was doing so highly but that damn redhead…the ginger felt like he couldn’t even trust him anymore whatsoever. “Tell me who to kill.” Ichigo swallowed a lump in his throat after delivering the words, he was still a mess but they weren’t easy to say.

The creature’s expression switched into a vile grin and put his hands on his bare hips, the perpetual erection at his groin and balls backing it shifting slightly as he soaked that up. The human looked _so guilty_ to have chosen what he had; it was very selfish. “Do be sure that killing _one_ other human is not end of the world or the species…” he reassured in a dark manner, “there are plenty of humans left.”

Ichigo swallowed hard and let his eyes slide upward slowly, this creature really had no mercy; the ginger might seem perplexed over his choice, it was fairly selfish, but it still wasn’t a choice made lightly or meekly. He desperately wanted to eliminate misery but he wanted to do it in tact, as himself as much as possible. Even though he felt ill at ease Ichigo forced himself to be sterner. “Does it matter how?”

“No.”

Ichigo looked relieved. “Who?”

“You will kill your partner, since you will not be with him anymore. I think this is close to mercy even.”

Ichigo’s heartrate went straight up. “I can’t really stand him but that doesn’t mean I-”

“Your body entirely or your morals abstractly,” the creature reminded. “Those are very fair payments to ask when it comes to eternal pleasure…or shall I be angry that you are _wasting_ my time?” the creature’s voice started to hint of a growl near the end of that sentence.

Ichigo felt his stomach start to knot up and he drug his eyes down again. In a way he was intimidated. Of course he should have expected that he would not be able to choose the victim…but he’d been too caught up in his twisted hope of for relief from misery… Eternal pleasure was one hell of a reward, nothing earthy that he could think of would grant such.

The male creature’s wings shifted as he put his weight over onto one leg standing there by the window he’d entered through. “Your partner is not even with you most of the time. He expects too much of you and belittles you for who you are. He is also small and does not pleasure you, he pleasures other men instead.”

Those struck several nerves. “JUST STOP!”

The creature did not stop, he knew this was the best time to persuade the ginger. “He even tries to hide how unfaithful he is by padding your mind with soft loving words…words that he probably does not even intend to be true. He has chosen his own fate.”

Ichigo sank down beside the couch wrought with terrible feelings…guilt…loneliness…heartbreak… He covered his face with his hands. “Just stop it…” Why did this choice have to get even harder?!

It was rather easy to pluck this human’s unstable strings, especially when the human himself was too upset to question how a creature knew of their relationship’s details. The creature of blueish hair sauntered over and stepped around the ginger, wings swaying slightly with his steps and his tail making hollow clinks as it drug upon the carpet. The handsome and clever creature crouched down beside the fair-skinned ginger and place a muscled arm around Ichigo’s bare torso and petted the ginger’s arm soothingly. “You are so sad…and alone. It is not fair.” He was about to make this seem easier…

Ichigo’s body lightly trembled. His mind agreed with the relatable words and it hated them.

“You do not have to be this way, there is a better way to exist even if it is bloody. History would agree, it would want you to shape your own future.”

By now Ichigo’s face was running with silent tears of stress and distress below his hands cupped over his face.

“We are _nothing_ unless we exist to thrive. This would be your _revenge_; it stops your problem and lets you start over.” The sinister creature spoke dark sense down to the human whose dampened face was hidden by hands still. “Revenge has solved all of _my_ problems thus far, and it can solve yours too. This sadness must leave your heart, let me help you expel it.”

Ichigo sniffed hard and moved his wetted palms down. Was that right? Did that _actually_ work? He’d never thought of getting revenge, not even when he’d cheated on Renji with so many other men…it was never for revenge it was just because he needed the sex so badly.

“You are strong enough to do this and earn your eternal pleasure, what more could you hope for without it?”

Covering his mouth Ichigo gave a single hard sob as his depressed mind felt that to be _completely_ true. He had nothing to hope for without it. There was no better way was there? He’d tried to find ways but the world just didn’t seem to want him, neither did Renji. He had to keep his body and soul as his own…it had to be this option. Hot tears fell silently and he sniffed again. “You’re right… You’re right,” he started to insist in a trembling voice. “I just don’t know how I can do this.”

The creature cupped his hand rubbing the human’s arm as comfort over the ginger’s shoulder and used his free hand to tilt Ichigo’s dampened face up, grinning halfway between wild and not at all. “Confidence. You are so beautiful and you _do not_ deserve to suffer like this.” The creature’s thumb gently ran under the ginger’s eyes and around Ichigo’s lashes wiping off the trails from tears. “If it were me, I would make him _suffer_ for what he has done but the method is not as important as the deed.” One way or another…he would get this human.

Ichigo blinked a few times as the last tears fell out of his eyes and he leaned and wrapped his arms around the comforting creature’s neck. “You’re like...my only friend…”

Tolerant of the sudden hug where the human was hanging from his powerful frame as he crouched there, the creature stood up, lifting the ginger at least a foot off of the ground because of their height difference. “There, there… I am a _good friend_ to have…”

Ichigo didn’t mind being picked up. His face was right up against the blueish hair behind the creature’s ear…it smelled like sulfur and something else indescribably seductive.

The creature was starting to wander toward the double bed behind the couch and kneeling up on its end he laid Ichigo down. “I am going to mark you. A sign of our deal struck…if you break it you will pay _dearly_, however be faithful to our deal and your reward will come. You will surely kill your partner, ‘Renji’ as payment?”

Ichigo stayed laid back-down on the cushiony surface of their bed and took a resolved breath. “Yes, I will.”

“Excellent.”

Over his chest Ichigo watched the creature’s head sink down and he felt a wetness come around his limp member and suck upon it and also a pleasurable touch to his inner thighs. With his mouth slightly agape and arms just resting across the covers Ichigo breathed soothing air as pleasure flooded his body and he let go of his worries. There came some pain as something sharp sank into one of his thighs and the slight scent of blood but the pleasure came back after and the ginger was swept up in its relief.

_[Hours later… Nighttime in the heart of the city…]_

“Hisagi?!” Ichigo reeled back, feet backpedaling in his dress shoes against the tile floor of a nice restaurant’s waiting area, looking wide-eyed between his partner and the black-haired man with a ‘69’ tattooed on his face and several scars on the other side. “What the _hell?!_” He’d thought this was supposed to be just a date between the two of them as partners.

“Ichigo, please…” Renji begged, glancing at the classy restaurant staff that were regarding them with annoyance; this was a very nice restaurant and they had reservations for three. They’d all dressed well in suits for the occasion and all they had to do was be civil, go in and sit down.

While Ichigo’s body language showed no sign of relaxing Hisagi immediately realized this and formally bowed with his arms at his sides and head down, “I am extremely sorry for causing trouble and this dinner is part of my formal apology.”

Seeing this level of apology make itself apparent Ichigo’s appalled behavior stalled, in a way that Renji couldn’t have culled it. The ginger stared at Hisagi as the sharply groomed man straightened again. Ichigo’s eyes were uncertain.

“It was a risk to arrange this dinner but I’m quite sorry…” With upset eyes Hisagi looked toward Renji…

Renji inhaled a calming breath and exhaled, looking at Ichigo with an apologetic expression. “I needed the relief. I told Hisagi that we’d broken up.” He’d lied.

Ichigo swallowed a lump in his throat, he was still upset but they were both apologizing to him in a public space and it was pretty damn flustering and embarrassing. “Fuck you both…this is _horrible!_”

Renji frowned, he’d figured it was a bad idea to put these guys in the same room but maybe Ichigo would have dinner and come around. Cautiously the redhead walked up to his partner and put his hands on Ichigo’s arms and was surprisingly able to keep a hold of the ginger without getting hit. “I really fucked up, please let me make it right.”

Ichigo’s brows knitted together as he watched Renji talk then looked over the redhead’s shoulder at Hisagi who was nonchalantly sliding his hands into his suit pockets and letting them talk. Ichigo’s eyes switched back to Renji’s and then he exhaled some air. “I really don’t want to do this.” His stomach was in knots. “…but I…”

Renji patted one of Ichigo’s arms in the nice suit jacket on the ginger and talked respectfully quiet, “Just let it be water under the bridge. We’re trying to prove that we’re not going to do anything behind your back again. Hisagi’s a very decent guy, he almost clocked me when I told him I’d lied and he’s paying for this whole damn dinner. We could have a nice time tonight. It’s better to fix this than to let it make you worse, you know? I’m really worried because of the way you’ve been acting and I love you so let me in there…” Renji patted Ichigo’s chest with the side of one of his hands. “You need some meat on your bones from good food too.”

The ginger was reluctant.

“It’s just an apology dinner…” Renji was still talking softly.

Ichigo rolled his eyes. “Alright already.” Renji let him go with a smile and the three of them approached the restaurant staff who took them to their table in the classy city restaurant. Marble and mirrors…crystal and gold trim…this place was exceptionally nice. After scooting in at their table in a cushioned chair Ichigo was picking food off of a shared menu with Renji and Hisagi had one all to himself. They selected entrees, alcohol with glasses of water and a two-course meal each with desert to follow. After about the best steak he’d ever eaten and two sangrias later Ichigo excused himself from the table to find the restroom. Walking in the quality décor was still apparent and moving to the urinals with his suit jacket carefully pulled aside Ichigo unzipped for a leak. The bathroom door creaked again and he didn’t pay it any mind until Hisagi stepped up beside him at the next urinal for a leak as well.

They glanced at each other and Hisagi sighed as he pissed toward his porcelain urinal. “You know… I’m not gonna tell him but I’m done with you guys after this, alright?”

Ichigo’s expression stayed suitably somber as he watched himself and when his stream died down he shook out and zipped up. “Yeah.” Their voices were so low it was almost impossible for them to hear each other and as Ichigo moved off to wash his hands he was sure to get out of the restroom before Hisagi. Suppose the reason Hisagi was treating them to such a nice meal was because he’d slept with _both_ of them, and Renji didn’t know that. Suppose there was no dignified way at all to recover from that situation… At the table Ichigo sat back down next to Renji who was relaxing in his own well-cushioned chair.

Renji noticed Ichigo’s uneasy face. “Hey, you ok?” he asked with a smile, bumping Ichigo’s arm with his elbow then returning his arm to the rest on the chair.

Trying to ignore the strongest sense of guilt he’d ever had Ichigo blinked up and looked at Renji with a slanted smile and his face started to lighten up. “Yeah, I’m just not used to having alcohol.”

“You need a smoke? I’ll buy you a pack on the way home.”

“Not tonight. I don’t think I’ll need them.”

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com


	9. Goodbye

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: sad sad saaad

Renji tossed his keys into the usual basket once he and Ichigo were home from the restaurant and behind closed doors. The rest of the dinner had gone well considering Ichigo hadn’t maimed Hisagi for trying to be a gentleman about this mess – from Renji’s perspective at least. The redhead’s hand was going for a lightswitch when Ichigo stopped him and started taking off his jacket…kissing him…untying their ties… Renji at least locked the deadbolt as he shrugged out of his suit jacket, trying to place it on the edge of the table beside them but it slipped onto the floor anyway. They didn’t talk there in the dark of the entranceway…together for what might be the very last time. Renji didn’t go after picking up either of their jackets and toed out of his dress shoes. He caressed Ichigo’s darkly obscured face, its shape was familiar.

Ichigo was out of his shoes and held onto both sides of Renji’s undone tie as he walked backwards and led Renji into their apartment. The ginger stopped when his rear bumped the edge of the couch and by late-night city light from the windows he started unbuttoning his dress shirt and Renji’s with a hurried wanting while they somehow managed to suck face in a very tender manner. Fully out of the rest of their clothing they showered and cleaned up in the bathroom before Renji picked Ichigo up with the ginger’s hair dusted legs wrapped around his waist and got back to their bed, stepping over scattered clothing and laid Ichigo down. For Ichigo this wasn’t just the sex he needed it was attention and love too, that was why he was alright with this now. The ginger drug himself backward up to the headboard and pulled up the covers as Renji crawled after him and over the edge of the covers.

The heavily tribal tattooed man moved over his partner who laid back and reached up for him. Renji’s face bowed and their lips came back together tenderly. Meanwhile, also grinding naked bodies together under the covers – frotting their cocks against one another’s, it really seemed like making love like this was the best possible way for the night to end. As he was hardened up Renji reached over for his drawer and took out a condom that he tore and fitted over himself and lubricant before settling between Ichigo’s thighs, that spread themselves. The redhead was lifting the ginger’s hips up and draping Ichigo’s legs around him then applying some of the lube to his own hand and reaching down and in between the ginger’s cheeks to easily push one then two fingers in. “You really have been horny without me, you’re not super tight.”

Unable to help flushing Ichigo’s expression slightly showed a smile that was barely visible in the dark, “Yeah. I’ve been lonely…”

“It’ll be ok now.” Renji’s fingers were gentle and thoughtful and his thumb pressed up on the skin under Ichigo’s balls and rubbed down on a sensitive gland from the outside as the penetrating fingers slipped back and forth. They were kissing again for some minutes before Renji’s fingers pulled out.

Even though he wasn’t so tight as he had been Ichigo felt when Renji started penetrating him; he was so thankful that he was still able to enjoy Renji’s size, and even though he was easily taking the redhead’s cock Renji still went gradually. There was a great pleasure in this penetration for them both. Ichigo felt a hand stroking his thigh when his partner had penetrated only partway in. Ichigo gave a shudder of enjoyment and his body felt hot.

Renji felt a satisfaction coming over his nerves, head to toe. “Are you good?”

“Uh huh.” Ichigo’s eyes half-lidded looked at Renji’s slightly shadowy form as it came down on him. His partner embraced him warmly and started to move his hips smooth and slowly with thought and with care. Ichigo’s body relaxed heavily and fell into a blissful rhythm with his partner and his hands found themselves between them stroking his erection against Renji’s body. They kissed. They cuddled. They made love and Ichigo actually remembered from his depressed haze what it was actually like to be with Renji…in better times.

The morning came early and with a screech at one of the shut windows both men woke up. They had fallen asleep close together so there was no way that one shifting would not disturb the other. Renji sat up with a snort and Ichigo blinked his eyes halfway open and then flopped over again. “Damn, what _was_ that?” Renji was momentarily annoyed and groggy from being roused so suddenly. Suppose the city was just noisy around the clock and that was to blame…

Cracking an eye and realizing that it wasn’t even daybreak yet Ichigo stayed cozily tangled in the bedding and hummed a sound as his face snuggled up to a pillow beside Renji’s torso. “…back to sleep…”

Renji was rubbing his eyes and patted Ichigo’s comfortable form as he yawned and turned to slide his legs out of bed with a long stretch of his muscular tattooed arms.

“You have work?” Since Renji wasn’t settling in again Ichigo had to wonder, he was more awake now.

“Nah, I took the day off. I have a lot of paid time off that I should have been using,” Renji moved off and away from the bed toward the kitchen without clothing on. “Don’t stare at my ass…”

“Too bad. I am _staring_ at your ass.” Ichigo could barely see Renji’s ass in the dark but he look for it anyway with a devious little chuckle. The kitchen’s overhead light switched on and with a grunt and tugging the covers over his eyes Ichigo guarded himself from the evil bright light. “Mmmmnnnnn…” he grumbled.

Renji was looking across the counter toward the bed and living room and saw Ichigo hiding his face under covers and offered a half-hearted chuckle. “Don’t go back to sleep, I’ll make breakfast.” He started rattling around in the kitchen and made simple eggs with orange juice then brought the plates and glasses back to the bed. They didn’t have a lot of food but this was still a good meal. When he got back to it Ichigo was still hiding under the covers of the bed. “What’s the matter?”

Ichigo shook his head and mumbled from under the bedding, “I’m just not…a very good person…”

Not exactly expecting a serious answer, Renji was halfway through setting down their eggs on plates with forks and glasses of juice; they were on his bedside table, which was rather empty except for his alarm clock. After Ichigo had broken his lamp Renji had taken the one off of his side and put it on Ichigo’s bedside table because the ginger was the one who used to like reading comic books in bed when it was late. Renji stayed standing beside the bed with the kitchen’s overhead light illuminating his nude form from behind. “We both made mistakes. We’ll get over it.”

There was no way that Ichigo felt like he should break his deal or tell Renji about all he’d done wrong. It might ruin their last time spent together…at least he could apologize. “I’m sorry.”

Renji put a hand down, depressing the bedding under it and reached out to the top of the covers where Ichigo was and ran that hand over his partner’s form over the covers in a comforting petting-like gesture. It was like this for several minutes until the comfort actually coaxed Ichigo out. The ginger’s head popped out like a curious weasel and then Renji moved the covers back a little more. He could just see Ichigo by the light from the kitchen and handed the ginger his morning meal one thing at a time and then sat on the bed himself and ate.

The food was good. Ichigo was sated and he was having such a hard time but he buried the evidence well afterward. Just barely the light of dawn was starting to show through their windows, _shut_ windows. After he finished his food the ginger took his empty plate and glass back to the kitchen then went through their only closet for his sleeping pants and loose t-shirt, he dressed himself over there in the hall.

Still comfortably in the nude Renji was relaxed with his back against the headboard and finishing his juice, eggs all consumed. “Aaaah~” He put his glass down on his bedside table and his eyes followed a clothed Ichigo who was moving across the apartment collecting the pieces of their suits. The ginger nicely placed their good clothes over the back of the couch then moved toward the television. Renji noticed his partner stop and stare at the window nearby. “That suicidal cat back again?” He’d really seen a cat on the fire escape before.

“Ummm.” Ichigo hesitated with the television remote in his hand and put the controller down as he was eyeing the window’s pane with apparent uncertainty.

Renji sighed and decided to remove himself from the bed and join Ichigo over by the TV; he pulled the edge of a pair of his pants out from under their bed and hiked the jeans up before wandering over with his tattooed upper body still exposed. He stopped near Ichigo and saw scratches down the outside of the window pane. “Aw damnit! Are you serious?! That fucking cat…”

That had happened this morning but it wasn’t from a cat. Ichigo took his eyes away from the sight of orange barely tinting in the dark sky through the scratched glass. “We should _catch it_,” the ginger suggested.

“You’re damn right. Why the hell would it rake a window?”

“I wouldn’t know, but if it doesn’t belong to anyone can I keep the kitty?”

Renji grumbled, “Mmm…sure,” going off for a minute to get an easy pair of tennis shoes to slip on and brought Ichigo his pair too. They were going to need to make sure it wasn’t fucking rabid first though. He came back and flipped on a light in the living room’s space. The redhead had sensibly grabbed a jacket too to cover up his torso, unzipped but at least it was something, and kissed Ichigo as he went by to open the window to see about if that cat was stuck out on the fire escape.

In his shoes Ichigo watched the back of Renji’s hooded jacket. Even if it was out there, the creature would not do this for him…it was Ichigo’s responsibility and his _alone_. It was hard to watch Renji open that window but Ichigo waited his turn and in the dark of dawn followed his partner out onto the fire escape.

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com


	10. The Truth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings per this chapter: mentions of rape, blood, pain, moderate gore, death and angst
> 
> You don't even want to know how many endings this story could have had. It only took me eleven rewrites!!! FOR FUCK'S SAKE.

The plan was to stab Renji in the neck with a knife from his pocket and push the redhead off of the fire escape but Ichigo’s hands trembled as he watched his partner look around for a non-existent cat. His hands trembled, his will quivered and he had the strong urge to jump off of the fire escape and end himself for even considering this. The time of doing was a most trying hour. It was only two minutes before the ginger stumbled back into their apartment and shut the window with a weak sob and locked it so that Renji couldn’t get it back open. He needed to be alone.

The redhead had immediately stopped looking around for a cat and went to the window in bewilderment.

In dawn’s early darkness Ichigo had all of the lights off in the apartment again and sat on the entranceway floor by the kitchen rocking back and forth, crying and trembling. What had he done?! He’d gotten himself into an unsolvable situation. He didn’t have the balls to hold up his side of the deal and that creature was definitely going to let him have it… He could hear Renji hitting the window panes with his palm and some muffled angry words but the ginger covered his ears, though not able to block out sound entirely, and stayed on the floor out of sight.

Then there came a horrible noise against the outside of the apartment.

Ichigo stopped crying and slowly took his hands down to listen and heard a few agonized shrieks and a wet tearing sound and within minutes the cowering ginger saw a large hand knocking upon its pane…leaving a stain of some sort behind… He immediately covered his ears again and held his face down, continuing to rock on the floor. Not so dignified but absolutely cowardly in his wrecked mental state. The detriment of corruption was deep.

The one that was outside though…could see into the apartment through the window and in the dark… They knocked again upon the pane with slower thumps, catching the edge of the ginger’s form a little over the couch and by the corner of a wall. Well…they slid their claws along the window making the most awful screeching sound that was inescapable and kept doing so several times over.

Ichigo did notice despite his efforts to not and there was some pounding on the walls from pissed off neighbors…he started to fear them noticing anything wrong for what they might say to authorities. Fearing the chance of being locked up or worse Ichigo didn’t want to know why the creature was here so early but he couldn’t open that window; he would get fucking tortured! Covering his ears again Ichigo waited fearfully rocking and trying to hide still, ignoring external probes and cues until dawn made way into morning fully and then the sun was out. Warm light was flooding in through a blood-smeared window. Slowly the ginger took his hands down from his ears when he realized that it was daylight and the window was the first thing he looked at. He was…upset by it and rising worriedly from his position cowering he moved just as slowly over toward the scratched and stained glass, touching the clean side of the pane cautiously and trying to see whatever he could. Renji was… Renji was laying on the fire escape face-down like he’d fallen, right next to the railing. There was blood on his partner’s tattooed body, scratches as if from claws and all of his clothes had been torn off. Ichigo put his hands over his mouth and muffled a sob. All because he didn’t want to get tortured Renji had suffered instead. Seeing this firsthand was horrible. That was the trouble with being a mess, sometimes there was limited forethought to the consequence of one’s actions and others got the brunt. Slowly Ichigo opened the window…he figured that the creature might not walk in daylight and climbed out onto the fire escape cautiously to get to Renji.

Renji’s waist-long hair was a tangled, bloody mess blowing slightly in the wind. People walked on the sidewalks fifty feet below but no one had noticed him way up here…or they just didn’t care. No neighbors had called authorities – fortunate or unfortunate.

Upset reflected on his face the ginger knelt down on the hard metal grate of the platform and gently touched a hand to Renji’s back and was surprised to find it warm.

Renji inhaled with a shuddering struggle. He was alive.

Ichigo flinched. Well…that was good he supposed. He dared look down, blood between his partner’s legs and over the other man’s ass. Gingerly Ichigo lifted a scrap of some fabric and found a wound on the back of Renji’s thigh that was crusted up with blood but still showed the whiteish and yellow matter of deep tissues and it cut straight across one of his tattoos. Ichigo almost got sick and let the fabric fall back down. “I just…” Now he felt even worse.

Renji vaguely registered those hesitating words to be Ichigo. He groaned painfully and he certainly didn’t have the strength to respond right now.

Looking around them with more caution Ichigo didn’t see or hear anything that would give him reason to fear and with remorse weighing him down but kindness spurring him to take some responsibility he found a car blanket in their closet back in the apartment and brought it out to cover and help drag Renji inside. The front of his partner was scratched up but most of the wounds on Renji were around the waist, legs and hands. As the lean ginger struggled to drag his partner back through the window, still causing Renji a great deal of pain, he noticed some of the wounds were bleeding again. They were disturbed and probably ripped open worse. “Urrrgh…” Ichigo heaved the blanket across their living room space and pulled Renji into their bathroom and knelt by his partner who was laying on his back with his muscular body limp with pain. “Renji what should I do?”

Renji’s eyes were still close and he rambled an answer, “Open the fucking window…” His thoughts seemed outdated and hung up on what had happened.

With bloodied hands Ichigo swallowed and trembled reaching down to hold arms around his partner’s head and shoulders as he lifted Renji’s heavier body up slightly. The misery he felt now was of a new kind, born of pure and unquestionable guilt. He held onto Renji while the other man breathed shallowly and bled a bit more, the blood soaking into the car blanket’s thick material.

While Ichigo had decided to help by rinsing the redhead off in their shower Renji started to come around because the water was just enough to help with that, at first fighting against the spray of water, but when he was more alert Renji stopped weakly trying to prevent the rise and just let Ichigo wring out a cloth against his muscles as the shower poured mildly warm water over him. His partner was dragging the soaked cloth over the slopes of his muscles and across his body where there were less serious cuts. Renji had stopped making a fuss.

The ginger had picked off all of the torn fabric and was still wearing clothes, now soaked, as he helped Renji for once and trembled but continued to help; one couldn’t tell if he was crying with all of the water running over him.

In aching and stinging agony Renji watched his partner without saying anything. He didn’t know what to say but he remembered how he’d disbelieved the ginger the most recent night that Ichigo was found a mess… The thing of this was it wasn’t just Ichigo’s fault for this; Renji had royally fucked up too and he knew it. They looked at each other and Ichigo’s hand stilled with the cloth for a calm second but Renji’s eyes closed before they could stare for too long. He was tired. It was a long time before Renji was clean and well enough to be moved again, some of the time in the shower had involved him standing and holding onto the edge of the shower’s glass so that Ichigo could clean that deeper wound on the back of his thigh among others and unfortunately some intimate parts of the man as well needed attention. It stung. It stung horribly. His pride and physique. With his partner’s support Renji limped to their bed and Ichigo laid him face-down over his usual side with a towel below him to soak up water and whatever fresh blood the cleansed wounds ran with. Renji had to endure while Ichigo carefully blotted and closed wounds with butterfly bandages and tape. When it was over Renji was glad. His half-open eyes caught Ichigo laying down next to him and stroking his hair. “It was the same thing that got you wasn’t it?”

“Yeah. I’m sorry.”

“Why did it do this?” Renji closed his eyes as a bolt of pain rolled through his thigh in two directions, toward his foot and up into his hip – joining the ache from his viciously ravaged ass. That specifically was not something he wanted to talk about, _ever_.

“I was lonely and he seemed like…someone to fill that void.”

The redhead let go of a breath a little harder than others. Hearing that made him regret a handful of things. He’d learned the hard way to not immediately discredit the things that his partner had to say.

“I shouldn’t have…” Ichigo whimpered as he looked at Renji’s tired face against the cushion of the towel he’d laid over the bed. “Whatever you do don’t open the windows at night.”

“I sure fucking won’t…” Renji groaned again and tried to reach for his pillow which Ichigo helped him get to and his head sunk into the cloud of cotton and exhaled a long breath of relief. “Some day off…”

Ichigo started to swear that he would never consider getting revenge against Renji ever again. He was troubled but he was fucking ungrateful too. The ginger made sure his partner was rather dry, save for Renji’s thick mane of red hair, and pulled the towel away and got the redhead under the bed’s covers on his back before going to the window he hadn’t had time to close before now and looking around out in the daylight again… The fair ginger saw nothing menacing but Ichigo felt like they would forever be living in fear of the cruel shadow of those wings; he’d invited in something dangerous and now he couldn’t take it back… The ginger shut and locked the window. Somberly he moved back toward their bed and climbed up on it, sitting cross-legged and staring at his partner. The whole mood of the sun-lit main room was somber.

“There’s no way I’ll be able to go to work tomorrow like this…” Renji lamented. This was going to look bad.

Ichigo’s eyes fell toward his lap and his fingers twisted together nervously. “I have something to tell you…”

Renji sighed and tried to mentally prepare for whatever it was. “Ok.” At least he was comfortably tucked into bed. Laying on his back was equally as much pain as he’d been in when facedown.

“Before the creature I…I slept with Hisgai too, that’s why you got to meet him, and…”

This was hard to hear but Renji wasn’t surprised…nothing about Ichigo’s fucked up behavior surprised him anymore…

“…and I did with some other men too but after a couple I made the next few pay me.”

…except that! Renji opened his eyes and stared over at Ichigo who wasn’t able to look at him. “Oh my god…I fucking hope that you didn’t do that to help with the bills.”

The ginger started to tear up again and pressed his fingers together tightly over his lap as the salty fluid rolled off of the end of his nose. “I kind of did…but the last guy wouldn’t pay what I wanted. He said I wasn’t worth that much and it…made me stop…” Ichigo bit his tongue a little hard as he started to tremble and the tears just got worse. “I kind of thought I could be good at that at least because I know how it works but I just…shouldn’t have. I saved the money I made though. I still have it. We can use it.”

Renji’s face twisted with new pain and he shut his eyes and just let the surprisingly bad moment pass. He honestly didn’t want anything to do with money that Ichigo had made from turning ticks but they were at a lack of options. “Maybe once we pay rent with it and it’s gone you can put it behind you.”

“Poor phrasing…” Ichigo frowned.

“Sorry… If you let things that remind you of bad shit sit around you’ll forever be in a bad mood.”

“That’s some of the best advice I think you’ve ever given me.”

“Do you think…if we put a bunch of crosses and garlic or something up we can keep that creature away for the future?” Renji was just wondering…

“We should probably just move. There are lots of apartments…”

“What even was it?”

“I don’t know…he wouldn’t tell me but if folklore is to be believed I remember something about never leaving your window open if you’ve done something bad because demons.”

Renji tried to relax. He closed his eyes and let his mind rest. There was only so much they could change at once- but he felt a sudden pressure which turned into pain in seconds within his chest that made breath to his lungs fleeting and he opened his eyes relatively wide as there was a pocket knife penetrating through the bed’s covers and into his chest – expertly aimed through his heart.

Ichigo opened his mouth with a fearful shudder and snatched his clenching hand back with the knife then tossed the blade away as his hand had been the real device to deliver the killing blow but without his consent… Blood dripped from the side of it… He’d only blanked out for a second and this moment was almost colored in disbelief and denial. The ginger just stared in shock as Renji took about a minute to fade, eyes and mouth open with blood soaking broadly the covers, sheets and down through the mattress, and when Ichigo realized what was done – after reality set in – in the corner of his eye the spread of great black wings caught his attention and the fair skinned man slowly turned his head in great fear.

Wearing nothing but a wild grin, menacing and proud of himself, the creature waited across the room in the broad daylight. “Nice try, but not good enough human.” He’d come in by the window while Ichigo was dragging Renji to the bathroom and concealed himself by festering magic within the shadows of the main room until the time was opportune. It was truly sinister but he was unhappy with Ichigo’s lack of performance for their deal. Even if Renji had lived the ginger was still marked and this creature would have followed them to the ends of the earth, no great feat for him but he did this all the time.

There was no doubt in Ichigo’s mind of two things: one, the creature had possessed him for the seconds it took to take the knife still in his pocket out and stab Renji, and two…that a lifetime of torment was what waited for him in some form anyway. Even after all of the misery and torture he was being kept alive for more, finding out the hard way that it wasn’t only during the night that he should be on guard. He wasn’t even given a reprieve between shock and fear to mourn.

Smugly the creature raked a hand through his up-done blueish hair and looked satisfied in expression on his handsome face, about to rub salt in the wound. “I told you. Revenge has solved all of my problems. What about yours?” That sunk in for a second… “Now lay down so I can fucking have you.”

Feeling sickened Ichigo clenched his jaw tightly, grief and guilt filled him back in fully and now the darkness and misery was never going to let him go.

_And lo he took the hand of a devil though it was barbed and pricked his skin._

_And all of the things he loved, destroyed._

_All hope and future null and dead._

_His recovery penetrated and himself ruined._

Read ALL my fanfictions on ArchiveofOurOwn.org. Art via: DeviantArt.com/FicticiousDelicious or FicticiousDelicious.Tumblr.com

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The art of a GOOD darkfic is to not 'bitch-ify' the characters within too severely. The audience should still feel something for them. ...but that's just my opinion.
> 
> A bit about characterization in this fic: It was challenging. It was really challenging. The want to make the characters more redeemable at points was constantly strong (because I'm a sucker for a dark character that can still have good qualities) but that wasn't what this fic was supposed to be at the core. The core was 'what goes around comes around' but the unforgiving and horrible side of that. However if an author flushes a perspective that doesn't seem to fit right away they lose an advantage with which they can seem to allude to idea of redemption possible ahead and then when everything seems great they suddenly displace everything good that might have happened with what makes many darkfics beautiful...angst. I think all of these characters are badasses and I thoroughly enjoyed deconstructing them in this fic.
> 
> I'm not going to lie, this project drove me insane by the last chapter which I almost ate my shirt for saying would be done sooner (the whole project really) because of having to rewrite until I was satisfied, so I hope the select few who like darkfic have enjoyed this. 'Tis why I share.


End file.
